Sunday, August 17, 2008

Some luck lies in
not getting what you thought you wanted
but getting what you have,
which once you have got it
you may be smart enough to see
it is what you would have wanted
had you known....

~ Garnison Keillor

Summer is coming to a close all too quickly. All too soon the kids will be getting back to their school routines. Everyday life routines. As I end this summer, I feel full of gratitude for all it held. Just as I had hoped and for me, hoping is an iffy proposition. Going into certain areas and times of my life can often remind me of expectations, which in turn reminds me of a quote which tells us that life is under no obligation to give us what we expect. So I embrace these summer days with complete and utter joy. The beauty of our everyday lives. Never perfect by others observations but always perfect in ours. Joy that the older girls have and continue to, evolve into these amazing human beings. Exuding beauty from the inside out. As their mother, proud of the road they have traveled thus far and filled with great anticipation of the incredible places they are sure to be heading. The little guys well,they are still filled with that wide eyed wonder of everyday living. Finding the joy in the oh so small things that we as adults often fail to observe but through their eyes, if we pause, we to can see it so clearly. And the little princess. The child who, on a daily basis, reminds us all of what this life we live is about. Her spirit that fills this house daily and lights up our world with a radiance of perfect beauty and grace, well, she remains a constant source of strength for us all. As the summer winds down I pause also for a moment and look back at this world of blogging that I have immersed myself in. Totally and completely and maybe sometimes too deeply. But I have not one regret because what I have gained has been immeasurable. The people I have found. The support, advice and inspiration that I otherwise would have missed out on. The sense of community and belonging that I yearned for. All worth the time. All of it, worth it. I have shed tears of joy and sadness for others. I have rejoiced in their accomplishments and been discouraged when things have not gone as planned. I have wanted to reach desperately across time and distance to give hugs, lend a listening ear or sit in silence right along side those I have become so vested in. Joined in commonality regardless of religious beliefs, political views or in some cases, even crossed language barriers. Coming together as human beings. Seeking solace, compassion, understanding. So as much as blogging can eat up my evenings, it has been rewarding, fulfilling and cathartic. Blogging has more than served the purpose I was initially seeking and exceeded my wildest dreams with the blessings it has bestowed. New people, new faces who now dwell in my heart. I have spent so much time over the last almost two years over analyzing our journey thus far. Zoeys journey. But this summer the biggest gift I have received has been the gift of momentary living. Each and every moment doing all I can to live and breathe each and every moment. Yes, our lives are crazy and hectic. Yes, the road has been seemingly long and unfair to one little soul but these are our moments. We have not been been immune to heartache and why should we have been? Those heart aches and those trials have shaped us. We are learning to embrace them far easier then before. This summer has been one of growth for me. One of change. Better and worse but change nonetheless. I have often faced new chapters with trepidation but as fall comes closing in I follow it with faith. What will come, will come. And with each day that comes, I will give thanks for the gift of that day, those moments and my ability to view it all as the incredible gift that it is.

*Don't forget to pray for Presley today. Her surgery began at at 8:15 am central time. Go to Presley's medical blog for updates, as Kele is trying to update as much as she can. Pray like crazy guys!!!!


Kele said...

Heather, the world of blogs has given much comfort too me as well. Some people stop by for a quick glance, some come back, some don't. But for the very few who have stayed around, to whom I have forged a relationship and bond, I am forever grateful. I know you came by for more than a glance. You have stayed and you have become someone I can't imagine being without right now. Thank you. Thank you so very much.
I can't wait until we can get these little ladybugs of ours together, they will become fast friends, just like their momma's did!
Love ya!!

Larkinsmom said...

Our baby girls leave a deep deep impression on us and those around our life. Something about the extra challenge makes us dig around in our soul and come up with a smile even when we don't think we will ever find it again. Kiss that girl for me and know that we are lovin on you all here in Illinois.

Pam said...

You are amazing Heather, and we love you and your little Zoey. Though sometimes the journey is rough, it makes us who we are, and I know that I am a much better person than I was before. I love my family with all of my heart, and we truly never take one single breath forgranted.

Sending lots and lots of loves....

Pam and Rhett

Kele said...

Excuse me Heather, I don't mean to be rude but 'is the mini sabbatical over yet?'
I may have a lot going on over here but I keep looking to one of my favorite places for some profound words and wisdom and you have left me hangin for 3 days!
LOL! I can kid you cuz you know I love ya!