A New Normal Begins ....

It's a little before midnight and I had hoped to be in bed by now but there is just so much to get done.We head out tomorrow at 5am for Zoey's bone marrow biopsy.The exact time of the procedure is around 7am.She will go under general anesthesia and hopefully will be in recovery before we know it.From there it will be a waiting game.We will hold tight for a few hours and then we head to her hematology/oncology doctor.I have always referred to him with both titles but I suppose now he will be known as Zoey's oncologist.I really hate that.In between the biopsy and when we reconvene with the doctor, we head to cardiology for a echo cardiogram and chest xray.I called her cardiologist on her cell phone.Yes,she gives me her cell phone,which she personally answers.Is that crazy and wonderful or what?She figures they will want to know her heart function before treatment starts so we will be squeaked into her schedule.The beauty of people who surrounds us has more then shown itself already.The day has been crazy.So many things to try and get in order but actually, we have no idea what exactly to get in order for.The kids well,they are doing alright.The big girls wish they could just swoop in and take charge of the boys.They will do what they can but reality is,life for them, has to continue forward.Emotionally we have been all over the map.Some moments find us repeated the news with strength and forthrightness.Other times,I choke on the words.Now becomes the real test of living moment to moment and giving complete control over to God.Again.As for Zoey,she has been relatively happy.Smiles but she is tired.You can see it in her.The biggest thing you see is how pale she is.I hadn't really notice until yesterday.With all her numbers off a little,it's no wonder.I wish I had something else to share.Like it's all been some big mistake.I have rode the elevator at Children's,with Zoey,on and off for the last 20 months.We have been on every floor except the 4th.The cancer floor.No other way to say it.I have been known,when the elevator has stopped at the 4th floor to whisper to Zoey,"Baby girl we don't want to get off here,Ever."However,tomorrow, I fear that will be our stop.I will walk through those doors and our new normal will begin.I will post tomorrow.We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts, for the love and out pouring of support that we have already experienced.Amazing.Simply amazing.Keep those prayers coming.They will sustain us.Also,if anyone knows how to make a "button" for us to post for people to link to Zoey and post on their blog,could you please email me.I don't have the energy to explore it right now.I am off to finish packing and catch a few hours of sleep.Until tomorrow ....