Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"The Soul Would Have No Rainbow Had the Eyes No Tears"~ John Vance Cheney






First ..... Zoey is fine.I know some of you have been concerned and for that I apologize.The past fews days have been,well .... complicated.Primarily on an emotional level but in addition,physically exhausting.In many ways however,the emotional side is often the heaviest to carry.But,daily,I strap that weight on and move forward.And the fact that I keep moving forward,or keep moving at all, should account for something.My heart has ached lately for not only Zoey but for all the others I watch struggle each and everyday.The 4th floor continues to be a contradiction of itself.Blessings scattered amongst the sadness.I have come to the realization that once more I have become a member of a club that I, quite frankly, never imagined being part of.But then again,who does?I now have another extended family as well.Faces that bring such comfort to me as I walk through those doors each day.Be it kindred spirits facing the same fight as I,or my littlest love, or the staff members that go above and beyond daily, to assure that you never feel as though you are walking this journey alone.Like the lovely Laura that gave me this quote .. thank you Laura,you are a breath of fresh air,always.It has been necessary to pass through the last few days in order to emerge on the other side and face a new day.A different day,for myself,for my family and most of all for Zoey.One thing that has remained constant over the last few days is the strength and determination of this child.She has not skipped a beat.She has plowed through each little thing thrown in her direction and she has done it with such beauty and grace and most of all .... with a smile. Zoey has,from outward appearance,been seemingly unscathed by the the events of the last 7 weeks.She continues to amaze us all.Her numbers are all on the decline,as they should be and she will probably be getting a transfusion of red tomorrow as her coloring as well as her number is letting us know she could use a little pick me up.Other than that .... slow and steady she goes.The other kids are doing really well.Much better than everyone did in Round 1.We might just have found our groove.The older girls have become the "other mommies" and I am fairly certain that by now,that I am replaceable.They grocery shop.They bake cookies with the boys.They play games and make crafts with the boys.They take them to see Santa.They go to school parties and play "stand in parent"when needed at functions.I could absolutely go on and on.Jess and Taylor, you have done an amazing job and we are so proud of you.Caitlin ..... if you were here,we know you would do the same.Hey,wait .... you did do the same .... remember?We are managing.All of us coping in our own way and Mark and I?Well ...it's called autopilot.Wing and a prayer is often the way of the day.Speaking of prayers.I have a special request for a little guy named Thomas.Thomas is 8 and is from our town and has been at Children's since July.The details aren't necessary only know he is a loved and adored boy to many and he is in need of prayers,lots of them.Tomorrow he needs some great numbers from a blood test and I know that his family would so appreciate the added prayers on Thomas's behalf. Thanks to all of you for a quick word of strength to him and his family.Well,I don't have much more in me.That exhaustion I spoke of at the beginning has all but taken hold. Once again,our thanks for your love and constant support.

15 comments:

Reagan Leigh said...

I know it's tough Heather, but you are doing a great job. And it's no fluke that your girls are so great picking up the slack...they learned from the best...YOU!!! Zoey looks GREAT! I just love that wide open smile! She never ceases to amaze me! As always you are all in my prayers,
Tera

Denise Pequignot said...

I wanted to send you something, could you please send me your email.
Thanks
Denise Pequignot
Mom to Sydney (5ds)
dpequignot@earthlink.net

kristyc said...

Good to see a post Heather. One foot in front of the other. Steady as you go. It all doesn't have to be bells and whistles, just a steady path in the hands of God steering you to a bright rainbow and future with the princess. Big Big Hugs to you today.

PS. Jess and Taylor you impress me soooo very much. You are the perfect examples of how daughters/sisters/young women should be.

Rachel said...

I want you to know that I see Zoey as one of the prettiest little bundles of Joy that I have ever laid eyes on.

I am praying for her every single day and every single night and know that she is going to come through this very difficult time with flying colors.

I love the first picture...that is absolutely just priceless!

Kele said...

Prayers for Thomas are coming from Texas.
Little Z is always in my prayers, as well as her mommy!
Glad you kept your word and just posted the necessities and took some time for YOU tonight, well, I am not there to really trust that you did do that part of it, but I am glad to see a 10:48 P.M. time on the post rather than a 1:00 A.M. !!!!!
You know I love you guys!!

Kele said...

BTW, sooooooooooooo glad to see some pics of the Princess, it does my heart good...Keep them coming, please.

Carey said...

good to hear from you! don't worry about posting everyday. i remember that emotional roller coaster. i always felt like i wanted to write something brilliant, inspirational of sorts, but it just doesn't happen all the time! there were times i would just not post for a while, i didn't even want to look at the computer. maybe i just needed something to be mad at for the time being.

ok, rambling now, but just know, it's okay! we love you and will continually check in and pray for zoey!!!

Cleo said...

ZOEY GRACE, you are one of my best teachers!!!, It is absolutely AMAZING how you embrace your journey with such a sweet smile!!!. Your courageous spirit will help you overcome this challenge. Hang in there BEAUTIFUL angel, soon this chapter will be over. Mem Hey Shin

Sending prayers of strength, love and healing energy your way, every day ~

Much Love.

Anonymous said...

Hi Heather, yes, yes, I was both worried and hopeful regarding missing your faithful updates. Always emotions in conflict throughout this profound situation. A thousand prayers for Thomas and his family and the 4th floor east remains our focus and inspiration. So many glad tidings to all the Needhams holding down the fort at home. Much love and if I could send strength to you and Mark. We are with you, and you have but to put your hand out and it will be squeezed in spirit, and in person soon. Big kiss to Miss Zoey the graceful (or, grace full). xo Christi Harman

Jeanette said...

I am humbled by your journey. Zoey is truly an angel warrior!

Michelle said...

Keep fighting baby Zoey and you to mom! If you get a chance email me your address, if you would! :) We will certainly remember Thomas as well as Zoey, Presley from T...all the angels!
We love you guys...

Anonymous said...

Prayers are flowing from snowy, wintry Syracuse to you little Thomas and for your family.

Needham girls Jess & Taylor (&you too Caitlin)you are such an extension of your parents and upbringing. Awesome indeed.

Jake & Joey must be "over the moon" with all the big sister attention and love. Angels & elves are indeed busy, busy these last few days before Xmas

And to you Zoey the most precious angel of all - what a teacher and pillar of strength to the rest of us! We only have to see your precious face and smile and all our troubles float away.

Take care everyone

Blue

(and hi to the mom and dad too)

Karen Owens said...

just checking in -- Stay strong..

Anonymous said...

Way to go big sisters! I am proud of you and happy for Jake and Joe to have you! I am glad Zoey is fighting with such grace. I wish I were there to help. Hugs to you all!
Lisa

heidi marie said...

heather, i know that we don't know each other...but i'm very proud of you. i have been following zoey's story and everytime i see a new post i just sit here and think...gosh she is so strong...well first i think "she is the cutest little girl." and then i think how strong she is. you are an amazing mother. hang in there