Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"The Soul Would Have No Rainbow Had the Eyes No Tears"~ John Vance Cheney
First ..... Zoey is fine.I know some of you have been concerned and for that I apologize.The past fews days have been,well .... complicated.Primarily on an emotional level but in addition,physically exhausting.In many ways however,the emotional side is often the heaviest to carry.But,daily,I strap that weight on and move forward.And the fact that I keep moving forward,or keep moving at all, should account for something.My heart has ached lately for not only Zoey but for all the others I watch struggle each and everyday.The 4th floor continues to be a contradiction of itself.Blessings scattered amongst the sadness.I have come to the realization that once more I have become a member of a club that I, quite frankly, never imagined being part of.But then again,who does?I now have another extended family as well.Faces that bring such comfort to me as I walk through those doors each day.Be it kindred spirits facing the same fight as I,or my littlest love, or the staff members that go above and beyond daily, to assure that you never feel as though you are walking this journey alone.Like the lovely Laura that gave me this quote .. thank you Laura,you are a breath of fresh air,always.It has been necessary to pass through the last few days in order to emerge on the other side and face a new day.A different day,for myself,for my family and most of all for Zoey.One thing that has remained constant over the last few days is the strength and determination of this child.She has not skipped a beat.She has plowed through each little thing thrown in her direction and she has done it with such beauty and grace and most of all .... with a smile. Zoey has,from outward appearance,been seemingly unscathed by the the events of the last 7 weeks.She continues to amaze us all.Her numbers are all on the decline,as they should be and she will probably be getting a transfusion of red tomorrow as her coloring as well as her number is letting us know she could use a little pick me up.Other than that .... slow and steady she goes.The other kids are doing really well.Much better than everyone did in Round 1.We might just have found our groove.The older girls have become the "other mommies" and I am fairly certain that by now,that I am replaceable.They grocery shop.They bake cookies with the boys.They play games and make crafts with the boys.They take them to see Santa.They go to school parties and play "stand in parent"when needed at functions.I could absolutely go on and on.Jess and Taylor, you have done an amazing job and we are so proud of you.Caitlin ..... if you were here,we know you would do the same.Hey,wait .... you did do the same .... remember?We are managing.All of us coping in our own way and Mark and I?Well ...it's called autopilot.Wing and a prayer is often the way of the day.Speaking of prayers.I have a special request for a little guy named Thomas.Thomas is 8 and is from our town and has been at Children's since July.The details aren't necessary only know he is a loved and adored boy to many and he is in need of prayers,lots of them.Tomorrow he needs some great numbers from a blood test and I know that his family would so appreciate the added prayers on Thomas's behalf. Thanks to all of you for a quick word of strength to him and his family.Well,I don't have much more in me.That exhaustion I spoke of at the beginning has all but taken hold. Once again,our thanks for your love and constant support.