Saturday, March 14, 2009

Beautiful boy ....

I have had the most difficult time moving past my post about sweet Thomas.Everything seems so inconsequential and pales in comparison to the journey that the Hearne family is walking.I don't believe it will be anytime soon that it will become easier.Today,in many ways, seems to be the absolute wrong day to begin posting again,almost disloyal in this strange inexplicable way.Today,is Jake's 8th birthday.Thomas is eight as well.I have found myself comparing the two often over the last several months.As Jake has lived his little life,playing outdoors,going to school,building Legos,I have tried to make sense of why it is that Thomas isn't doing all of the same.I can't wrap my head around it.I don't think I ever will.Yes,today is my beautiful boy Jake's birthday.My loving,and kind and patient and sweet and funny and smart,beautiful boy's birthday.A little guy still,in so many ways.I often stare at him as he sleeps and still see a glimpse of my precious baby boy.A baby boy after three girls.So odd but so very natural at the same time.As if he was waiting all that time for the perfect time to make his appearance.People have often wondered about the age difference with our children.Some assume a second marriage.Others assume a "mistake".We are always eager to tell his story.The coming of Jake Matthew into our lives.We quickly tell of Taylor's birth when I was 27.A difficult pregnancy.Third child.Life seemed fairly complete.I had my tubes tied during my c-section.Regretted it before I hit the recovery room.Regretted it for nine years.Then a journey with another family spoke to our hearts and reminded us once again about the important things,mainly the importance of new life and family.In June of 2000 I had my tubes reversed and the miracle of Jake came the following spring.He led the way.Headed up our "second" little family.And lead he does.An amazing big brother already.A sweet and gentle soul.8 years ago the blessing of Jake.We love this little man and can already envision the older man he will become.But for today we rejoice in his 8 year old self.The beauty of our days with him right now.And beautiful they are and how absolutely blessed we are for the gift of sweet Jake.Tonight I pause and thank another beautiful boy for his life and the courageous way he lived it at a time when baseball and soccer should have consumed his days but didn't.Because of Thomas' life I will cherish and treasure all of my days with Jake all the more.Thank you to Tish for the gift of your beautiful boy.

*Jake and my niece and Jake's best little buddy,Sophie Grace.


Caitlin, your big sister said...

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling [Jake].
- "Beautiful Boy" John Lennon

Jake, I love you so much, you have brought such joy to my life. You have enriched my life as a sister and as a person in indescribable ways. I am so overjoyed that I am able to watch you grow from such a unique perspective.
You are always going to be my bald-headed, gentle, agreeable baby brother, even when you pass me in height and get even older.
I'll never forget seeing you for the first were truly a perfect baby and you are still the perfect brother.
Thank you for blessing my life.
I love you forever,

Junior said...

Happy Birthday Jake, you have such a wonderful and loving family.

stephanie said...

Heather and Caitlin, what beautiful words for Jake.I know there is sadness around you now, but it's Ok to celebrate the blessings too. Inhale the blessings today. That's what I do, sounds silly but it works. I hug and cuddle the nearest of my children and inhale deeply. For those few moments everything is perfect,time stands still and a new happy memory is created. Kisses and prayers, Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Dear sweet Jake - I hope your special day was as special as you are.

Lovely, sweet post Heather.

Big sister Caitlin - Love, love "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon
a perfect tribute to your little brother - and the loving words you wrote about Jake are so touching and beautiful

Love and hugs to everyone

Aunt Bluebelle

3saints said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet Jake...
I'm so sorry that you have so much sadness around you..
When things like this, when a little sweet child loses their battle it makes me so horribly sad but then I realize I just need to fight harder.

Hugs and Love

Mia hat eins mehr! said...

Dear Jake,

from far away Germany comes a very warm HAPPY BIRTHDAY straight from the heart. Your cake looks lovely ;-)


Lacey said...

He's so sweet. Thats great that you had your tubal reversed and it worked, it didn't for my aunt. My Carter is only 6 but he acts like he's 10 and he would love to play with Jake, the both have the long crazy hair.

MJMILLS said...

Happy birthday day to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Believe me, me typing happy birthday is much better than you actually hearing me sing it!!! MUAH AH AH! I hope you can find some sunshine in your recent days, "mommy." I love that you shared your very personal story about the birth of Jake. What a miracle!

Mrs. Hefelfinger said...

Happy birthday, Jake!

Sweet Angel said...

So I sit here in the hospital reading my favorite blogs and I can hardly see cause I am such a baby and of course I am crying. This all hits so close to home. Sitting here on the 4th floor surrounded by children, all who are fighting for their lives, at any given minute any one of the 24 children on our unit could be wheeled out of there some what comfortable rooms down to the cool air in the ICU. Every day is such a fight! I find comfort in knowing that we are all in this together.

just jean said...

Happy birthday to Jake! What promises of a wonderful life lie in his eyes! All of your family's experiences will mold him into becoming an exceptional man some day. And what a tribute to and a blessing from Thomas that we can all learn how to be in the moment, whether we're 8 or 80.....ahhh...the wisdom of children.
And how wonderful that you could all share this special day with Jake together at home. Blessings.

Anonymous said...

He is such a beautiful boy! Happy Birthday Jake! Remember 8 is gr8!


Michelle said...

Isn't it amazing how we just never know what's in store for us. So glad to 'listened' and therefore allowed Jake to join and bless your family. I bet he and Kyler would get along great as they are only a year apart. Hoepfully someday soon they can meet! Embrace this day with your sweet boy as hard it is may be with so much else, not so pleasant, going through your mind. It's just plain hard, and often time doesn't make sense...but sweet Jake makes sense, so take that for now, enjoy it, enjoy him and continue to bless the lives of many as you do each love to you my dear dear friend!

The VW's said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!!!!! I can tell that you are such a blessing and loved very much by your family! You're very handsome as well! (My boys tell me that I should say cool instead of handsome, are very cool too!) Hugs to your wonderful family!

Reagan Leigh said...

Happy Birthday Jake!! Maybe now your mom will give you some pizza?!?! I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Cheri said...

Okay...totally crying over here. I love your story Heather..every bit of of your family story. How easily the untying of the tubes could have not worked but it did...just as it was suppose open up the flood gates for your "second" little family, to compliment the "first" set of beautiful just the right time.

As I read your post I reflected on where I was in those months 8 years ago and about this time I finally "popped" and was starting to really show with my pregnancy with Luke who was then born in July. I have been so consumed with Zoey Grace and fostering the little "budding" relationship between her and Reid that I forgot how close our boys are in age, just 4 months difference.

Jake, happy Birthday to you. Your mom used the words loving, kind, patient, sweet, funny, smart, and beautiful to describe you...and just by seeing your picture on her blog many times that's what I would have guessed about can see it on your face! Happy Birthday.

Kele said...

An amazing brother and beautiful boy, indeed.
Happy belated birthday Jake!!!

Rachel said...

The 14th is also my son Coleson's 8th Birthday. I thought of Thomas as well.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Boys!

Rachel (lees summit, MO)