Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A Year Ago Today ....
"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."~Charles "Tremendous" Jones
If you click here you can read my post from a year ago today.I remember very little of that day.As much as we knew that leukemia could be part of Zoey's future,nothing prepared me,any of us, for her oncologists words that Monday, which were,"We have some problems with today's labs."I called Mark and all that happened afterwards, is a absolute blur.Which I think,is a blessing in some ways.Our memories are double edged swords however.They rob us eventually of the things we wish so desperately to remember forever and ever but often,during some of the most difficult moments in our lives,usually the darkest,those times too begin to fad.
I am in complete awe of the little child I see before me today.Miss Zoey has amazed me from day one of her birth and that has not ceased,for one second,to this day.I am in awe of my other children and how they have grown and evolved and endured all that has been asked of them and all that they have had to process and channel and deal with.I am in awe of Mark and how he just got done what needed to get done, to provide for his family,remaining positive and optimistic,all the while caring so tenderly,nearly each and every evening for his youngest little love.During this past year,our family has witnessed the most incredible outpouring of love and support from our fellow human beings.More kindness and compassion and unselfishness,then we could have ever,ever imagined.We have been surrounded by doctors and nurses who have loved and cared for Zoey,as if she were their own.I have,along the way,also met the most magical children and families that I would have never had the opportunity and the privilege of meeting had it not been for this journey.I have watched with immense joy and hope,the faces of children and families who are one step closer to cure.I have also watched with equal pain and sorrow, the faces of families whose children would not make it to cure.A year ago I would never,in my wildest dreams,have imagined having to watch parents and siblings and loved ones, say goodbye and journey forward in this life, without their precious children.That part of the journey I will never be able to reconcile.
A year ago, our family found strength in each other, as we united,with one goal and one goal only and that was to see this innocent child through the unimaginable.And here we are.365 days later.All of us together.A family of 8 taken to the edge once more and brought back because of the indomitable will and spirit of a tiny 2 year old.I have said this countless times before and it bares repeating.Zoey Grace and her presence and entry into our family is what we have been waiting for all of our lives.She has changed us and shaped us and empowered us to be the people we are today.We give thanks to God for leading us,sheltering us and covering us in His amazing grace so we can proclaim once more,how incredibly blessed and how humbly thankful we are.No one knows what tomorrow will bring or the day after that,or what awaits us around the next corner but what I do know, is that for today, in this moment,we rejoice.