Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Year Ago Today ....




"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."~Charles "Tremendous" Jones

If you click here you can read my post from a year ago today.I remember very little of that day.As much as we knew that leukemia could be part of Zoey's future,nothing prepared me,any of us, for her oncologists words that Monday, which were,"We have some problems with today's labs."I called Mark and all that happened afterwards, is a absolute blur.Which I think,is a blessing in some ways.Our memories are double edged swords however.They rob us eventually of the things we wish so desperately to remember forever and ever but often,during some of the most difficult moments in our lives,usually the darkest,those times too begin to fad.

I am in complete awe of the little child I see before me today.Miss Zoey has amazed me from day one of her birth and that has not ceased,for one second,to this day.I am in awe of my other children and how they have grown and evolved and endured all that has been asked of them and all that they have had to process and channel and deal with.I am in awe of Mark and how he just got done what needed to get done, to provide for his family,remaining positive and optimistic,all the while caring so tenderly,nearly each and every evening for his youngest little love.During this past year,our family has witnessed the most incredible outpouring of love and support from our fellow human beings.More kindness and compassion and unselfishness,then we could have ever,ever imagined.We have been surrounded by doctors and nurses who have loved and cared for Zoey,as if she were their own.I have,along the way,also met the most magical children and families that I would have never had the opportunity and the privilege of meeting had it not been for this journey.I have watched with immense joy and hope,the faces of children and families who are one step closer to cure.I have also watched with equal pain and sorrow, the faces of families whose children would not make it to cure.A year ago I would never,in my wildest dreams,have imagined having to watch parents and siblings and loved ones, say goodbye and journey forward in this life, without their precious children.That part of the journey I will never be able to reconcile.

A year ago, our family found strength in each other, as we united,with one goal and one goal only and that was to see this innocent child through the unimaginable.And here we are.365 days later.All of us together.A family of 8 taken to the edge once more and brought back because of the indomitable will and spirit of a tiny 2 year old.I have said this countless times before and it bares repeating.Zoey Grace and her presence and entry into our family is what we have been waiting for all of our lives.She has changed us and shaped us and empowered us to be the people we are today.We give thanks to God for leading us,sheltering us and covering us in His amazing grace so we can proclaim once more,how incredibly blessed and how humbly thankful we are.No one knows what tomorrow will bring or the day after that,or what awaits us around the next corner but what I do know, is that for today, in this moment,we rejoice.

20 comments:

Devon said...

I love your last sentence. That's all we have, really, is now. One of the most important thing I have learned in the last year or so is the treasuring of the moment--in a way I feel lucky, since I have had my eyes opened to that, and I try to treasure every moment. So many people don't get that gift.

Hugs to you, Heather.

Bea Braun said...

Your little warrior has overcome so much and she just keeps on amazing. One year is a big milestone and you are all so blessed to be together and enjoying all these special moments. Thanks for posting the pictures, we love seeing her cute little face.

ABandCsMom said...

I can not, for the life of me, remember when I started following your journey. I think it was shortly after Zoey's diagnosis.

Isn't it strange looking back on that first day of diagnosis? Seems like only yesterday, but then, at the same time, it seems like a life time ago.

It wont be long and you'll be reflecting back over 5 years. Like we are now. It really freaks me out thinking about 5 years.

Hope you enjoyed your bitter sweet day today.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to hug My Zoey tomorrow!!

Goodnight, my friend.

Tina said...

Rejoice in the moment, in today, in everything that you have around you, really that's just the way it should be considering everything you, Zoey, your entire family has gone through. I cannot even start to understand the extreme emotions this last year must have brought with it. Just so happy to know that Zoey is safe, and your family is stronger today because of Little Zoey. I Love reading your blog and get amazing inspiration and strength from it, you are actually helping someone at the other end of the world.

Gabriela said...

Ich glaube, alles, was uns begegnet und im Herzen trifft ist Geschenk an unser Leben, macht uns zu den Menschen, die wir werden können, auch wenn es manchmal das Schlimmste zu sein scheint.
Sorry, my English ist so bad, I've to write this in German.
Herzlich
Gabriela

Brooklyn said...

Thought you might like to view a different angle of the video showing your friend Madison and Miley Cyrus. In this version ,you can see Madison in full length (cute outfit!), as well as dancing with Miley and singing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKaLzG2dVHg

Also nice to note that the concert was to benefit cancer! :-)

Lacey said...

Zoey is simply amazing. I found you after Zoey started chemo, and I was amazed that not only she hadn't lost a single hair on her head, but she always seemed happy and strong. I would never have thought chemo was flowing through that little body. I need a Zoey love so bad.
Oh and Jax slept ALL NIGHT last night.

stephanie said...

We rejoice with you, my friend. God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Lovely words Heather and as always well spoken. Kudos to you!

Kudos also to daddy Mark, Jessica, Caitlin, Taylor, Jake, Joe & of course little Miss Z! What a journey this year has been for all of you....

Love & hugs to everyone

Aunt Bluebelle

Alisha said...

Beautiful post!

Shonda said...

I love the picture of Zoey laying on the floor. She looks like such a sweetie pie!!! I am keeping track of Zoey from TX and I always look foward to your updates. You have a BEAUTIFUL family.

Dawson said...

She has changed ALL of us!! Friend, your family and Miss Zoey means the world to us and I want to personally thank you for sharing her with us. She makes all of us better people.

We love you guys and give her hugs and kisses from us

Jeana said...

Those pictures of Zoey say it all, she looks so awesome! I'm so glad you are all rejoicing such an amazing journey and that she is doing so well. I went shopping for fleece fabric the other day and thought about those little ones that will get the blankets. It was a truly humbling experience.

Kele said...

Lovely Heather. I, too, remember a year ago today and getting your phone call. Zoey does amaze, without a doubt she is a warrior that has taught us all so much. These little loves of ours have been the greatest lessons of our life, as I write this I am feeding Presley cheerios, that alone and the every day examples of Zoey, prove how far this angels of ours have come.

Anonymous said...

you have such a beautiful family, Heather. Almost every time I read one of your post I get (at the very least) teary eyed. I remember the first time I found your page, through the facebook a mutual church friend, I cried until I was pretty much dried up. Your little Zoey is a gorgeous person. So sweet. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Cammie Heflin said...

Rejoicing with you!

scrappy quilter said...

What a beautiful post. Zoey is one amazing child. It's wonderful to see how you all grew together. Hugs..

Rhea said...

Hi Heather,

I just came upon a blog who could use a word of encouragement. They just found out that their son has down syndrome and their four year old has rett syndrome. The blog is called bostonclarkbutler@blogspot.com. I know that you are busy, but if you could email them a short note that would be great. Thanks!!!

Rhea said...

Heather - thank you so much for giving the Butler family some words of encouragement. My heart has been heavy for them and I have prayed continuously for them. I started reading Brooklyn's blog when Anna was being tested for Rett. She doesn't have it, but I immediately felt a connection with them, like I do with Zoey and your family. These wonderful blessings come in different packages, but are absolutely amazing! Thank you again!!!