"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."~ Seneca

This is going to be a long one.A catch up on the entire crew and a bit of my heart I need to share...

School has begun for the little ones and smiles adorn their precious faces.Even with the trepidation of new schools and knowing they were starting without the security of familiar friends faces,everyone seems genuinely happy.Kids are so resilient.And what more could I ask for?Well,perhaps that Joe re-enter the front door with that same personality that left.You know,Dr.Jekyll was here in the AM and come the afternoon,Mr.Hyde has,without warning, replaced him.As for Miss Zoey,she has picked up where she left, without missing a beat and as you can see from the pictures,is thrilled to be hanging with the old gang.









Taylor has finished her summer camp counselor job and come 3 am,Tuesday morning, we will be saying au revoir,as she boards a plane for the year in Switzerland."au revoir, ... my best lame attempt at french!We will miss her terribly.But this will be, a once in a lifetime,possibly life changing experience for her and it is time she put those capable wings to use.





Matt and Jess are knee deep in stuff.Matt was accepted into paramedic school and began a few weeks ago.He will be unable to continue his EMT job,tomorrow in fact will be his last shift,as I hear,paramedic school is going to kick his butt.Jess is still working at the VA in Los Angeles and will begin coaching the Frosh/Soph and JV soccer teams at Oaks,where she graduated from high school.Sprinkled in between,my high achieving,plate always full girl,has other odd jobs she picks up here and there.She is also beginning to put together her nursing school applications for spring semester.Her hip surgery is still in the appeal process with our oh so pleasant insurance company and in the mean time,not waiting for a decision, is working out furiously,whether she should be or not.As frustrated as I know the two of them are,for having graduated from Pepperdine over a year ago and not working in the "real world",so to speak,we are super proud of them and all that they are accomplishing.As Jessica's quote on facebook says,"God's delay is not God's denial." I feel certain their lives are going to fall beautifully into place before long.



Danny is busy putting together his application packages for grad school next year.He will graduate from UCSD next June and from there he Cait and Charlotte,will either stay in San Diego for their master's program or they will head to UCLA or San Luis Obispo to Cal Poly.Wherever they end up,I know they too will continue doing the amazing job they are right now and their future is definitely brimming with great hope and endless possibility.



And as for Marky,Mark ... working his tail off.Thank goodness for the ever consistent presence of reality TV in these tough economic times,as his industry,more specifically his company has felt little of that pinch.Overtime has been cut way back and as much as we miss it,we hadn't come to depend on it.We feel blessed for his job stability and security over the last several years of our roller coaster lives.I wish he took more time for himself and I do wish we took more time for each other.We seem to come dead last in the hierarchy of things.That really has to change.Which brings me to this blog ...

I love this blog.I love what it has brought to my life.More importantly I love WHO it has brought into my life.This blog began at one of the lowest, most darkest times of my life,seizures days, and has sustained me straight through my little loves journey with leukemia and beyond.This blog has strengthened me and forced me to put one foot in front of the other,countless times when life seemed heavier than I could have ever imagined.When I needed a place to vent and share and cry and rejoice,this blog was the go to place.It is not that this blog has run it's course completely but change is beckoning.As much as a private blog was calling my name,I now know in my heart,that I could never do justice to two sacred spaces.So I will continue this blog but I have prayerfully decided to cut back.I can't articulate completely where life has dumped me in this particular moment,perhaps it is indeed a mini mid-life crisis,but I need to turn my focus to the tangible in my life.That again is not meant to diminish the friendships I have found and formed here,on the contrary.I want to be able to give completely and authentically to my blogfamily and in this moment,I find,I am just not able to do it.To those of you who blog and facebook,you know how much time can be eaten up in this world.My laptop sits in my kitchen and I wander to it numerous time a day,"just to check in for a minute".If you have an obsessive personality,online stuff,sucks you in and drains valuable time.At least for me.In a blink of an eye,hours can pass and it is certainly not wasted time but it does cut into other aspects of life and right now I need to change my focus.I need to nurture my tiny nuclear family here.I need to reconnect with old and dear friends.Go to coffee.Perhaps meet for breakfast now that I have all three in school for a block of time.I need to take care of me.I miss running.I look at my yoga mat that has gathered dust on my closet shelf for the last year and I need to yank that down and put it to use.I need to get out into my community and give my time and talent.Even if it is an hour here or there.I need to sit down and make blankets,at least one, each week so I am not waiting until literally the 11th hour to pull off an impending delivery.I need to process the loss of my parents in my life and consequently my siblings and be content and peaceful with the course my life has taken with them and because of them.I need to process the life and death I have witnessed over the last 2 years.As I said goodbye to sweet Angel baby Luke's parents,his brother and sister, last evening,who are moving to Seattle,I realized all the more,the importance of living fully each and every one of our moments with those we hold dearest.I need to find balance.Don't we all crave that?I know for certain that I thrive on it.And in the end I believe, whole heartedly, that the small changes I make, will in turn lend themselves to less stress and more joy.

I am not abandoning ship.I will be around.Maybe a post every week or so.I will still check in on your precious children,who have changed me and blessed me for the better.Most especially all our fragile buddies,who struggle each day and whose courage has taught me that I can overcome everything and anything that comes my way because of their beautiful example of living.Don't get me wrong,blogging is not a chore.It is an absolute gift but for now I need to move with the ebb and flow of my life.And to those of you who can do this blogging/facebook thing and still give to the other parts of your life fully,more power to you.Whatever is your trick,do share.Simplify perhaps.Maybe as I post again,it will be quick one liners and cute shots of the kids and life.Who knows.But what I know for sure is how blessed am I,that finds myself,my family,finally in a place,that I can get lost in the mundane and monotony of everyday living.These are the days for sure.Days that are still filled and will always be filled, with a child who requires a great deal,even more than some of her chromosomally enhanced counterparts. As well as my other children who are all in various stages of their full lives.It's all beautiful and I am being gently nudged towards an unknown place and destination.I think I need to acknowledge that nudge.Something tells me,like other times in my life,God is indeed behind it. Time for me to live what I write and etch all of my memories deep within my heart,so in the end, I can say, I did it all,with very few regrets.Peace and love to you all ....

"The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life."- Robert Louis Stevenson