Sunday, November 11, 2012

Gratitude. Day, who knows what day I am on, doesn't matter, just still plugging along. My dad....

My dad.A lost little boy, who found his way, all by himself, quite literally, and did it beautifully. A man who lived in an era where a hand shake was all that was needed. It represented all that was necessary, a mans word. A man who embodies those qualities we wish all of our children to possess: Honesty. Integrity. Loyalty. Steadfast love and commitment to what is right and good. Who's main wish was to find a girl who would steal his heart, and they could build a life and a family along the way. And he found her. Or rather, they found each other.



Their marriage was one not seen often. Truly each others best friend for 54 years. And the day he stood bravely and unwavering in voice and body, and gave the eulogy for his soul mate, many walked away from that service, including myself, and questioned the way we were living and loving, our very own spouse. They did it right, my mom and dad. And today I see it has come rather full circle. He is much like that lost boy once again. Broken. Mostly his heart. Missing that love of his life.


But somehow, someway, he once again is finding his way. I think beautifully. He may tell you otherwise. I stand in awe. Proud to call him my father. Blessed to have these days with him. Even if it is watching him go about his days, fragile in spirit. But he goes. And we follow. Just as we did as small children. The roles have been reversed in many ways. But that is okay. I am honored to give back. As I remarked to one of my daughters recently, these days are gifts. We would change it all, in a heartbeat, to have her back. Yes for us. But mainly, mainly for him. For now, as difficult it is to watch him grieve and to know that my grief is only a fraction of his and knowing full well, there is little I can do for him, I will continue to look at these days as truly the gifts that they are. And I will continue to be grateful for them. Grateful for him.

5 comments:

Reagan Leigh said...

Such a beautiful post! He's lucky to have you Heather!! (Gorgeous wedding pic!)

Bea Braun said...

I hope your dad reads your posts Heather because this is a truly beautiful tribute to both he and your mom. This time with him is a gift. And how about those wedding pictures! What a beautiful couple :)

Cole said...

Lovely tribute. xoxoox

Stephanie said...

Really, really touching and beautiful. And I love how you are choosing to view this time as a gift. Thank you for sharing.

karen gerstenberger said...

Your post reminds me of this quote:
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

You are being that person for your father, and it is a gift beyond price. Sending {hugs} to you & your family as you face this holiday without your mom's physical presence. Somehow, I feel certain that her spirit is close at hand, surrounding all of you with her love.