Thursday, May 29, 2008
"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love makes the ride worthwhile"Franklin P. Jones
21 years ago (May 30, 1987) I married My Prince. My Knight in Shining Armor. My Best Friend. My One True Love. Sappy yes but 100% all true. 21 years ago Mark and I said "For better, or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part"Who would have known, as we stood before each other and God,all those years ago, that those very words would prove to test our commitment to each other and at the same time teach us lessons,far beyond what we could have ever imagined. Those words spoken, mean far more to us today, then they did back then.As we exchanged those vows, how could two love struck young people truly know what life had in store for them and how they both would be challenged to live up to each and every syllable. 21 years ago Mark chose me and I him, to travel this journey, to ride this ride, together side by side. The ride has managed to veer off course from time to time. This crazy ride has forced us to leap off at some moments and hold on for dear life at others. This unpredictable ride has taught me more about myself then I would have ever known, had I chosen a different friend, partner and "seat mate". This ride has been filled with compromise and sacrifice knowing that we both have had, in the end, the same goal. A life looked back on, reflected upon.One to be proud of , to savour, to cherish. Although this ride has had it's fair share of tears, those tears have forced us to circle back to one another, to unite, to revisit the strength of the love that brought us together in the first place.To become one, when it mattered the most. I am so proud to be Mark's wife. Thankful that he has so unconditionally loved me,no matter what. That he has forgiven me when sometimes the words that have left my lips ,spoken in the moment, didn't match what I held in my heart. One of my biggest faults. He has forgiven me, always. Mark never fails to see the best in me. Even and most especially when I am filled with doubt in myself, who I am and what I have become. He has believed in me and encouraged me through moments of hesitation,self deprecation, worry and fear. I thank him for the amazing gift and miracle of our children. I look at them and I see him. Beauty, light, and goodness. We came together before God 21 years ago and we stand before God today, stronger, grateful, humbled. The ride thus far has exceeded the dreams I had conjured up so very long ago. More wonder, more joy, more breathtaking. I pray that God continues to guide us as we navigate the remainder of this ride. That we try to not take life or each other for granted and when we do , because we will, that we can pause, take in all that surrounds us and regroup, to truly know it has all been worthwhile. It has been quite the ride thus far Marky, Mark. I would never, ever have chosen to take the ride with anyone other then you.
And Zoey ......... well not too bad I must say. Status quo. Which I always like.No seizures that we saw today and I THINK yesterday. I say I think because some of these movements can be so subtle and unless they are really in your face you second guess every little thing. So, two possible days with no seizures, pretty wonderful. She still isn't eating her solids really well but I try at least 3 times a day and she manages to eat about half of what I make. We will keep on trying. Therapy is going fairly well also. She works so hard. This child just keeps moving along. Doesn't miss a beat. Rolling more. Trying to get back to sitting some. A little more vocal. So interested in everything around her. That brings me to the picture. That is her VERY concentrated face. She loves being outside but is very serious and very focused. She sticks that chin out and really zeros in on what is in front of her. It is one of our favorite faces she makes. She continues to amaze us. Our neurologist commented that it makes surgery a more difficult decision when you see her doing fairly well. Surgery will eliminate the cognitive dulling effects that the Infantile Spasms bring on and take away but as we see her continue to plow through and develop and regain despite the Spasms, well, it will be a tough decision. But in the end,we are told, the benefits will out weigh the risks. We will face this as it comes. That is the report for now. Thank you for your ongoing prayers and support. Please keep them coming.