Monday, July 28, 2008

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you ,as you are to them" Desmond Tutu







Funny how time goes. Just a mere 12 hours ago I was standing in my parents kitchen hugging my niece and nephews,my sister and brother in law. Giving kisses,passing Zoey around from one anxious arm to another. Zoey freely passing out kisses of her own and now, here we are. A time zone or 2 away from each other. All of them, sound asleep in Houston and me,here, going over the last week and wondering how in the world did it pass so quickly? A stark reminder of cherishing the time we spend with each other. Unsure when we will see each other again. Me, being real big on making the most of moments lately and feeling for certain I missed out on making the most of some of our precious time together. Feeling absolutely hypocritical.I have been heard on occasion, spouting off how life is short, live each day without regret. Knowing in this moment, I for sure have regret on the way I spent some of my time with my Houston family. I talk to my children about not having the chance to recreate moments and I messed up moments this past week, big time.Not very proud of that fact.I will need to make peace with myself in that area. Peace probably with them also.I don't think I honored God's gift of them this week, as I should have. I remain in a really strange place and hope that this latest phase or place or whatever you call it,that I have found myself in ,will pass quickly.For now, here are a few pictures. I could have posted a ton of Miss Zoey smiling and giving kisses. She was so "on" last night.Quite the performer. Almost as if she knew people were taking pictures.Or so I was told.Jess,Tayor and I were not around though. We were in Irvine at a John Mayer concert that we had gotten tickets for back in May.One of my favorite artists. Incredible concert.That's where the picture of the two of them and I was taken. Most are from the family gathering at our house last night.Zoey waving and giving kisses.One is of my mom,my two sisters,Jess and I at dinner on Saturday night.Point one, notice their beautiful, curly hair and my well,very straight hair. Yep,2 sisters,two brothers and all my children ..... extremely curly hair. Me,not a single curl! My oldest brother use to tell me it was because I was adopted. I am not so sure that it might not be in fact true.Point two, I NEVER have my picture taken.That I posted them for the world to see is nothing short of amazing. My children tell me that they will never be able to do a video,scrap book or anything for me or of me because there are no pictures of me, anywhere to be found. Well,very few. Most I am wearing sunglasses.I tell them feel free to photo shop someone of your choosing in my place if you like.I for sure hit my quota for the year in one weekend folks. Another one of my numerous quirks and hang ups. Yes, I have a few, very aware of them. I have to pick and choose which ones to work on. My photo phobia is very low on the priority list .Another busy week is well under way at the Needham household. Stuff,stuff and more stuff. Mark will be working the next 2 weeks straight. Weekends included. Not looking forward to that. No choice though.Summer is evaporating right before my eyes. Kinda scary.Busy lives make life evaporate, that is for sure. Still trying to find that magic way to slow it down a bit but haven't quite perfected the method. Till then I will try to embrace the speed at which it's moving and make the most of the moments. Try, being the operative word.

3 comments:

just jean said...

That's where the grace is...in the trying....and trying.....and trying. Aren't we all graced when forgiveness gives us yet another chance? Forgiveness from our Father, and from those around us.
It's always hardest to forgive ourselves. We are human. Sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way.....

Kelly said...

Hey, I hear you on the photo phobia. You will rarely if ever, see a photo of me--anywhere. Jealous about the John Mayer Concert. I am sure it was fabulous.

Kele said...

Heather, your usually incognito behind those sunglasses of yours! So now I see you are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside! ;-)