Monday, January 12, 2009

And tomorrow comes .....




"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life, with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."~Dorothy Thompson

Taylor ever so sweetly wanted to do the night time reading ritual with the boys.I thought I would take that opportunity to do a post before it got too awfully late,as I have a ton to get ready to prepare for Round 3.Hard to believe that it is time already to head back.Am I ready?I suppose.Ready to get on with the next phase.Which means we will be one step closer,God willing, to placing this latest obstacle in the faced and overcame column.What I am never ready for is leaving the other kids.And Mark.Life is fairly complicated here in the Needham household.Some of which I will share and others,well,let's just say ... the timing is not quite right.The big girls are all in such crossroads of their lives right now.All managing and doing a fabulous job of juggling and living but still needing me.Jess just began her last semester at Pepperdine and is busy wrapping that up,while working and interning at Amgen as a trainer in their work out facility.It sure would be nice if that parlayed into a full time gig after graduation.Her boyfriend of almost 3 years,Matt, has committed to a job here in California.A big question mark in their future answered but with it, the knowledge that that decision made for some very sad family back in Chicago.I promise to love him as my own Jean.And then there is Caitlin.Caitlin continues to do her amazing job with Community Catalysts of California.A full time job, as well as going to school.She is about to embark on one of life's most rewarding yet challenging experiences ever and I only wish I were closer to lend support both physically and emotionally.And Miss Taylor.A soon to be high school graduate.So sure she wanted to test her wings and fly far away to San Francisco for Special Education,is now debating whether that is the place for her.She has a boyfriend,Brandon, who has committed to Arizona to play football and with that,young love,feeling the pangs of an uncertain future.I wish so much I could ease their way but in the end it is their way,not mine.I hope they know I am here,always.Even while holding their baby sister during chemo,I am still here for them.Then there are the boys.Jake has amazing adaptation and coping skills.I worry less about him than I do Joe.Jake made me cry tonight though.I was getting ready to take Zoey to bed and told the boys to say goodnight to her.Jake very lovingly came up to her,gave her a big hug and said,"See you after round 3 Zoey."So very sweet but so sad at the same time.And Mr.Joe.He is one complex little man.We went to a doctors appointment on Saturday to discuss his new medication.We started him on Clonidine about 6 weeks ago for his ADHD.Joe's issues are that, with a major impulsivity component and associated rage as a chaser.Throw in some OCD and you have complex.However,we see glimmers of hope with this medication but it has been a battle to balance the drowsiness side effect.I HATE to see him drag like that but hopefully he will begin to adapt to the dosages before long.So ... you see .. they all need me and I them and this is not forever and as long as we see it that way,we will find our way to the other side.As for my day ... I wish I cold say it got better.Let's just say that I had to break into my emergency cache of Xanax.Late this afternoon I found out that my dear friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer.Talk about a shot to the solar plexus.I was speechless.I felt helpless.I gathered myself and realized it's not about me and how I feel but about her and her family,who I love.So I called and told her WE will all get through this together.Parallel journeys,different but the same and both rooted in the same positive,faithful and hopeful philosophy that our two families will absolutely fight these battles and win.Tomorrow comes ...

10 comments:

Michelle said...

Continuing our prayers for Zoey and the whole family as you embark on round 3.

Anonymous said...

Zoey is doing so good. We will be praying for you guys. Is this the last round?
Keep being strong and thank you for sharing your feelings. God bless your family always and give you strenght.
Luciana

Kari said...

Love the gorgeous photos. Zoey looks so good. Your in my daily prayers :)

Cammie Heflin said...

Praying for your family and all that everyone is facing.

Ruby's Mom said...

I'm praying for you,your family,and your beautiful Zoey

Jaxsons Fight said...

Always praying for that sweet little girl with the huge smile (she needs to teach Jax how to do that) You would never know she is going through chemo. Hugs from Lacey and Jax

Dee said...

Hello Heather,
I have been a lurker on your blog for a little while now. This morning I was surprised by a post from you, thank you for being so wonderful and understanding about my beliefs. I keep your family in my heart and you are all in my thoughts often, you are all truly amazing. I haven't written any comments because I sometimes feel that because I am an atheist my good wishes might be taken as empty, without faith. It couldn't be more opposite. I pray for your little angel Zoey everyday, my prayers are just a little different. With all of my heart I am sending good thought and love to Zoey, you and your entire family. I hope round 3 is the last round and sweet Zoey will be well very soon. All of my love to you and (((HUGS)))!!
Dee

Larkinsmom said...

Larkin and I keep sending our prayers and good thoughts. You are so very brave Ms Zoey ... one day you and Larkin need to meet :)

Anonymous said...

We are all traveling our separate journeys, yet we are pulled together out of love. Thinking of you all, Christi Harman

just jean said...

Heather,
Thanks for the comment about Matt. I know he'll have "family" in CA. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. It eases my pain of separation....at least a little. He speaks with affection for all of you, as well.
As for sweet Zoey and the other Needhams....(including YOU)....one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. Continue to live in the moment. Please tell your friend with breast cancer that she can win this battle. I found strength in the knowledge that many women had traveled that path before me, and they made it to the end successfully. We are not alone in our challenges. And then...we can share our joys.
Peace, my friend.
Jean