Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The beauty of our days ....




One week.That's how long we have been home already.The days are going far too fast and I know Tuesday will be here before I know it.It has been so easy to fall back into routine of everyday life.Although due to Zoey's compromised immune system we are housebound and our routines revolve primarily on our daily lives within these walls.But I am not complaining.I am instead cherishing.Being home has lent itself to a few minor breakdowns.From me.Nothing too extreme.Just the reality of our life and the road ahead and the uncertainty that it holds.Last night as I went to bed I stood over Zoey's crib and just watched her breathe.I marveled in the size of her body and how fully she fills the space nowadays.Mark stood with me and I started to cry.I spoke what did not need to be spoken ... how much I loved her.He said ... we all do.To which I replied ...what if that's not enough?Knowing as those words left my lips how silly they were because how we all wish it were as simple as just loving them.So many families would not be where they are if the beauty of loving these children were all it took.I climbed into bed and out stretched my arm into the crib.For a moment wanting to selfishly pick her up and just hold her and rock her.I let her sleep.I gave into my own exhaustion.My dreams were of the hospital variety last night.Nothing I could vividly remember.Just the hospital.Our second home and a place that holds such a large portion of my heart nowadays.Not only for what it means to Zoey and her journey but for the families and children that I think about and pray for everyday.Their faces imprinted on my heart ... forever.For now,today we bask in the beauty of these days.The beauty of Zoey.Watching her take in every aspect of her surroundings.I see this new light about her and I am amazed that such growth,both physically and cognitively has seemingly taken place during what has been one of the most difficult onslaughts to her tiny body yet.She is a warrior in every sense of the word and I tell her daily that she is the bravest girl I have ever,ever known.Tonight I say some extra prayers for strength for some other tiny warriors that are in some very pivotal moments of their battles.For Thomas,and Luke,and Madison and Gavin ... we are so proud of you and ask that God continue to watch over you and bring to you and all who love you,peace and grace in the days ahead.Thank you to all of you for your daily check ins. We continue to be awestruck by the outpouring of love and support.All of it lends light to the beauty of our days.

*Scroll down for more pictures

10 comments:

Reagan Leigh said...

What a sweet girl. I just love the pictures. And believe me, you are entitled to break down every now and then. The amount of stress in your life is unmeasurable. But Zoey is a fighter and I have no doubt she'll come through this with flying colors, just as she has done with every obstacle put in her way. Take care and call anytime.
Tera

Jaxsons Fight said...

Everyone deserves a breakdown once and a while. I can't believe how good Zoey looks. Cuter than ever. Hugs from Lacey and Jax

Jaxsons Fight said...

Of course you can add Jax's blog. I am just now finding downs friends because after Jax's brain injury he got so far behind even downs kids that I felt jealous and I didn't really acknowledge downs groups. But I've got over myself and now I'm having a ball meeting all these new people. Talk to you soon, Lacey

Anonymous said...

God certainly gave Zoey to the right parents. Bless you all and all of the little warriors and their loved ones. We're with you in thought and prayer and wish we could provide any sort of a soft cushion. Christi Harman

Anonymous said...

Heather - just posted on previous day -forgot to mention the awesome round 2 photos Kele did. I have round one in a frame and now I will have round 2 photos in another frame - something to marvel at during the cold, snowy weather here in Syracuse

Hugs to everyone...

Bluebelle

The VW's said...

Heather,

Thanks so much for visiting Gavin's site and for your support! I totally 'get you' when you mentioned how helpful it is when you find another child and family who are traveling similiar roads! It is so sad to know that others are facing such trials, but it is also beneficial to know that you are not so alone.

Your precious Zoey is just beautiful!!! I'll be praying for her and you! I can only imagine how scary this stretch of the road must be for you and your family! May God Bless You All!

Hugs from Michigan,
Alicia and Gavin

Cheri said...

Tonight we too will pray for Thomas, Luke, Madison, and Gavin... and continue our prayers for little Miss Zoey. She looks so happy Heather, she truly is an amazing little fighter!

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

Sweetest face ever, I mean it! She is just pure joy in body form. I can see why you can't keep your hands off of her. She is so so so sweet!

Kele said...

No one is more deserving of a break down once in a while, than you.
And yes, I too, wish love was all it took to keep our babies safe and far from pain, oh Lord do I wish that...

Laura said...

Heather,
As usual, you are on my mind. I'm so inspired by you, so happy for Zoey's progress through treatment, so impressed by your steadfastness with all of this. What strength of character it takes, what a mommy Zoey has. I hope to see you soon. Miss you and looking forward to a hug. Will pray for Zoey and you right now.
Xoxo
Laura