Friday, January 30, 2009

It can't possibly be Friday again ...can it?

Hospital time.It's the strangest thing.Moments where it drags and others when it flies.This week flew.And I was thankful for it.Happy to put last week behind.Last week held a lot of sadness for me.Deep,raw pain for others and their journeys traveled and mainly for ones they are about to embark on.The pain for me is still there.I am just finding a better way to channel it.Or at least trying.Tonight after passing off duty to Mark, I wearily headed down stairs to the lobby of CHLA and to the parking lot elevators.As I was approaching the lobby,this beautiful music was streaming from the lobby.It was piano music.In the lobby of the hospital is a black grand piano that primary sits idol,un-played, not used,for months on end.It looks oddly out of place and it's origin and use I am totally clueless to.All I know is,that tonight it was being played.And beautifully at that.A physician,scrubs and all,sat behind the keyboard and played away.I so wanted to sit and get lost in it but home was beckoning as it was after 9 already.But, as I stepped onto the elevator,the tears just came.The music was peaceful and soothing and reminded me of how much I am missing music in my life right now.The same thing struck me the other evening when I went to the cafeteria late at night and the night shift cook had a Rod Stewart Great American Classic CD playing.I miss music.Music seems to transcend where ever life has managed to dump you at the moment.In our house we love all kinds of music.One of my fondest memories when the kids were little was when Mark would sit them on his lap,music blasting and he would have their little arms going a mile a minute to the beat and rhythm of air drums and guitar.So,tomorrow I am on a quest to figure out how I will bring music to my days at CHLA.Whether it is a simple cd player or my Ipod with a Ipod dock.All I know is that music for me is healing and sometimes,depending on what I am listening to,it is second to praying.I'll let you know how it pans out.On to Zoey.She had a few so-so days.Which her so-so's are so not a big deal compared to others on that floor.She has got that,"I need my red blood pick me up" look and her petechiae and bleeding from her gums said bring some platelets while your at it.Monday will see to that, I am sure.Other than that she is plugging away.Still waiting on counts.Still doing our best to keep our daily lives flowing the best we can.Everyone is doing such a magnificent job of it.I am so very proud of my children.Each of them teache me something new every single day.Their strength,faithfulness,resiliency,selflessness,and innate human goodness astound me ... daily.Slow and steady we go.We are almost there and before we know it we will be able to say we are more than half over with treatment.3 down,2 to go.Soon.Very soon.Please continue to lift Miss Zoey in prayer.She is doing some serious butt kicking thanks to God's grace and our prayers.That ..... and it doesn't hurt when you have the heart of a warrior.

* Pictures:the many faces of Zoey and our little friend Madison who is 4,is on 4W and has neuroblastoma.Her mom is Taylors manager at In N Out.How crazy is that?Madison is another one of those amazing kids that I have talked about who just effortlessly takes what has been dealt to her,never complains and STILL,fills those halls with her joyful personality.


grammygwen said...

Still praying for Zoey and all of you. She is a beautiful little girl. I love her many faces. Music lifted my spirits many times when my grand daughter was fighting cancer. Second to prayer and reading my bible. May God bless Zoey and your family on this journey.

Lacey said...

I love her mad face,its to cute. It amazes me how well kidos do. My boys amaze me when Jax is in the hospital for long periods of time and they only have one parent, sometimes even grandma or neighbors. They always get the short end of the stick since Jax came along. But they are so strong and they love him more than anything. Stay strong and we all love you very much, Love lacey and Jax

Kristy said...

Heather I agree with you. Music soothes the soul. It's such a calming factor in my life. Especially music that is written from the heart. I hope you get your music to soothe your soul this week. Zoey looks precious as always. LOVE her faces in the pics. She seems like she is plowing through this with smoke on her heels. As always prayers for the Princess and prayers for her sweet friend Madison. hugsxoxox

Tubre Quads said...

We are praying for your sweet baby girl! I put your button on our blog...hope that is ok.


Mary said...

Zoey is so precious. She's still on my prayer list (as well as your family) and will continue to be. She's definitely a fighter...must get it from her mom!

Mrs. Hefelfinger said...

Love the photos!

Sorry to hear another child from Camarillo has been diagnosed with cancer. It just isn't fair when kids are sick.

I had no idea Taylor worked at In N Out. I'm surprised I've never seen her there.

Jeff said...

Heather and Zoey,

We miss your sweet smiling faces! I am so glad that we have connected and became friends. I am keeping sweet Zoey in my heart and prayers and look forward to reading your updates everyday!

Jo Ann and Pablo

Reagan Leigh said...

Sorry for not posting lately, but I never miss reading the blog and you both are in my constant thoughts and prayers. Hopefully you will be headed home soon and out of the madness and chaos of hospital life. Zoey seems to be holding up well. That bottom picture may be my favorite yet! That is a beauty queen smile if ever I've seen one! Take care and keep in touch,

Colbert Family said...

Hi :)
I will put Zoey's button on our blog today and yes, you can most definitely put Abbey's button on your blog. Thank you :)
Praying for you guys often!

Anonymous said...

Love those many faces of Miss Zoey. Awesome!

Yes Heather, music is a wonderful thing, however it meets your needs of the moment. I am a constant music listener, be it quiet and soothing, jazz or whatever - it works for the soul and heart....
(Looking forward to listening to "The Boss" at superbowl halftime on Sunday)
Take Care


Anonymous said...

Heather, I have an extra cd player/radio here you could take to CHLA. Let me know if you are interested. I have lots of cd's to loan too. Prayers for the Little Warrior and her warrior family. Adorable pix, thank you for sharing. Lots of love to all, Christi Harman

WheresMyAngels said...

Bless her heart. Such sweet photo's, even if she doesn't look so happy in two of them.

Continued prayers for her health.

Kele said...

I agree, music is good for the soul and you know good music! I remember pulling up Zoey's blog everyday when Presley was in the hospital and Pres and I just listening to the music on the blog for hours!
I don't know where this precious Grump-face that Zoey is sporting these days came from, but it is PRICELESS, I love it!!

stephanie said...

Heather & family, we are praying for Zoey and all of you. I wish I was close enough to squeeze her.What an infectious smile! She reminds me of our Emilia Faith. We also have 6 kids and Em is the baby. She has DS also,you inspire me daily, keep writing.I check on Zoey's progress everyday.Always inour prayers. Stephanie & family

Anonymous said...

I will send you a cd - leave your address in comments - I won't publish.

The photos of your beautiful girl are soo cute!


Michelle said...

It's always soooo good to see that you have posted something new! Even if you are having a bad day, the post says to me...I'm going to be OK, I am still in the game and I am still reaching out to this crazy, blogging world! :) Oh often speaks whats in our soul, or at least helps put words to what we are feeling. Keep dancing day we can all dance to the beautiful music together! We send our love...always!

Joella said...

Music can heals the soul. Maybe if you can't get a CD player you can just pull some music up on the internet. It will lift the spirit. It never fells when I need a pick me up, or something is bothering me a song will come on that helps me feel better. God will give you all the strength to finish another trip at the hospital. Zoey is a trooper, she is awesome. I love the faces, even the sad ones. I would like to send Zoey a gift, if it's OK with you. I need your address. Does she wear bows in her hair. I make them and I would also like to send one to her.

"With GOD as your partner miracles can happen..."

A prayer for you to pray daily....

"I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.

And anytime I don't know what to do

I will cast all my cares upon you."

Prayer has the power to change mountains into highways!

YOU and your family are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Heather your children truly have an angel as their mother; what a beautiful family. Much love, Madison's Nanny

The VW's said...

She has the best expressions! What a cutie pie!

When Gavin spent so long in the hospital I took a personal CD player to have there. I also found these tiny speakers that I could plug the player into so that Gavin could hear the music as well. I agree that music is so important and good for our soul!

Hang in there and know that you are thought of and prayed for often!

Molli Salzman said...

I am saying a special prayer for sweet little Zoey!

By the way, I love the pictures of her. The one with her pig pajamas in the crib is priceless. Her personality just comes through the pictures.

I love reading your blog. Even though I don't post often, I am always keeping up on Zoey and her progress.

Take care,
Molli and Charlie

julie said...

Thank so much for being you and having the strengh I only wished I had. Thank you for always being there a shoulder to cry on when nobody else understands. I'm so thankful to have met you and your family and eveytime I she little miss Zoey she always puts a smlie on my face and in my heart. Madison and Zoey are little warriors to have the strengh I only wished I could have to go through eveything they have had to do is crazy to me and how you Heather have the strengh amazes me! Thank you for always listening to me when you have so much more going on in your life. Maddie and Zoey need to have a play date outside hotel CHLA. Talk to you soon Julie

Randall said...

I just love the pictures of Zoey. Our Sydney has that same car. She LOVES it! Music is one of God's gifts to the world.