And tomorrow comes .....

Tomorrow marks two weeks since we've been home.Funny,the first week is such a time of adjustment after being inpatient for so long.By week two we have finally gotten back into a groove and by the end of that week we are saying .... no ...don't send us back!But back we must go.Three rounds down,two more to go.We check in at 6:30 am and at that time Zoey's port will be accessed and labs will be drawn.If her ANC comes back 750 or above she will have a lumbar puncture at 9am ,with a dose of chemo and then she will be admitted.I decided rather than pack for the entire month I will pack her bedding and 2 days worth of things and once we know for certain she will be inpatient,I will follow with the rest.I have been caught before and packed EVERYTHING,only to head home within hours.Hard to say which way things will go tomorrow.I think if I were to make a guess,I don't think her ANC is high enough.Who knows.It becomes a crap shoot,honestly.Jessica and Matt are here this weekend so it's been almost a full house.Tonight we will watch the Academy Awards Show.Ever since the girls were young we have made a little party of it.Snacks and yummy food.Ironic thing about it is .... it's been over two years since I've even been to the movies.People Magazine has kept me in the loop though.So tonight we will enjoy our time together.I will start getting things in order for the boys.Get the house in order.Make sure laundry is done and groceries are bought.As each new round begins I have a little more sense of peace about me.We have come to have routine as we venture into each new month.Doesn't mean I like it any better.I just have accepted that we do what needs to be done,for Zoey.Tomorrow will come.I will awake with that familiar pit in my stomach.I will walk around my bedroom taking deep sighs.I will put on my "Leukemia Sucks"t-shirt.I have worn it on day one of all the last rounds.Speaks volumes.Day two will find me wearing a peace,or hope shirt.Shows my progress as we have ventured deeper into this unknown world of cancer.And from there ... I pray.Pray that Zoey will be looked after and guided as the onslaught of her nasty cocktail begins for 96 hours straight.Pray that God gives her body the strength to withstand it's power.Pray that His grace covers us as we watch her endure, day after day the effects of her potential miracle.I have no doubt in Zoey's ability to take what is given and I continue to marvel at the courage with which she does it.There is always a measure of fear.Fear of the unknown.In those moments of fear I will turn to the only thing I can.The only thing I know and that is my faith.Please pray for the little love.We have come to rely on that as well.That's all for now.I will keep you posted on how the day plays out.The only thing left now is the ever present question ..... is this child EVER going to lose her hair!!!I'll keep you posted on that as well.

*Picture explanation :My exhausted husband asleep,probably mid-sentence reading to Jake last night.It was late.Joe had long since collapsed but no matter how late it is,it has always been our routine with the kids,to read.8 books might get pared down to 3 but we read.At 10:30 last night,this what I found when I checked in on them as they were reading up in Caitlin's and Jessica's room.Had to capture it on film.
The other pictures are of the beautiful tote that arrived in the mail for us yesterday.My lousy picture taking doesn't do it nearly the justice it deserves.The gift is from some very old and dear friends,Robyn and Bo Root and their daughter Kim.Kim actually made the tote,it's reversible too,and well,it made me cry.Along with a note that went along with it.One part of the note,that I hope Robyn doesn't mind me sharing was:"The picture on the pocket is one that I have hanging on my wall at work.People ask me if she is my granddaughter and I tell them no,she is my inspiration."We love you Root family and we cannot wait for the day that you all can meet Zoey in the flesh.Thank you,thank you,thank you.It will be just perfect to carry back and forth to the hospital.