Deja vu

I am a self-admitted,over the top,out of control,cannot release it to a higher power ... germaphobic.Have been,most of my adult life.I am fairly certain that germs will be a main bullet point in my children's therapy when they are older.That is why I add a few extra bucks to their therapy jars from time to time.My children will always know Chuck E Cheese and the play areas in malls as being synonymous with the word "germ-fest'.Or in Joe's case 'germ-FESTIVALS".An outing with me sometimes goes something like this :Don't touch the cart.Don't touch the railings.Don't touch the elevator buttons.Use your sleeve for the doors.And :Here's some hand sanitizer.And ... here's some hand sanitizer. And ... here's some MORE hand sanitizer."Yep,I'm a real treat to go out with in public.Just tonight I was in near panic when I reached into my purse after using the pen at the store checkout and couldn't find my trustworthy germ fighter.Okay,panicked it a bit much but you get the idea.I have issues and they have only grown exponentially since Zoey has been born.When she finally came home after 2 1/2 months in the NICU,keeping her healthy was a matter of life and death.Literally.Zoey was born basically into congestive heart failure and balancing that and her pulmonary hypertension proved to be no small feat.As Zoey lay on her back,g-tube feed 20 hours a day,unable to be left alone for any length of time because she gagged and wretched 24 hours a day,germs were the number one arch enemy.We didn't mess around.The words,courtesy of my niece were :"No touchie".We bought 3M Avagard by the case full.We still do.The last several days around here have been a bit reminiscent of those early pre-heart surgery days.With leukemia and low ANC being part of the vernacular around here now,things have kicked into high gear.I have been known to follow those with sniffles and coughs around the house and ever so inconspicuously,wipe where ever their little hands may have wandered.Chances are I am not fooling anyone.Well,it appears as though my neurotic ways have still allowed the germs to penetrate the Needham fortress.Jake started with a cough.A nasty one, the other day.I took him to the doctors today.Cough,fever and all.As I walked through the door there was a kid with a bowl ... puking.Nice.I felt the urge to run but choosing to be a good mother ... we stayed.The verdict from the doctor ...a virus.Just as I suspected.Nothing we can do about a virus except let it take it's course.Our pediatrician has seen a decrease in RSV but instead two new strains of Influenza have shown up.We all received flu shots.Here's hoping we miss the worst of it.I inquired about stomach virus's.The worst in my opinion.Much to my dismay his reply was :"Oh,those are year round."Great.Rumor has it that Jakes school has kids dropping like flies from it.Thank goodness for having him home the last two days and for the long weekend.I mean seriously.I had just felt like winter was winding down and maybe we had missed the worse of it.But as my sister ever so gently reminded me today,our family seems to get hit in February and March.Double great.In the end,all of us will weather what ever comes our way but Miss Zoey is another story.These little bugs can mean big trouble.Could we just pray she dodges this stuff?When I am able to bring myself back to reality,I realize that in the end,the hospital probably poses more risk to her than home.I can't mandate or control the people that come in contact with her,and where they have been or how healthy they really are but at home I can.So, I will just do the best I can and know that sometimes no matter what I do,things will still slip through.It just scares me.A lot.But tonight all is well,except of course my little man Jake.Hope he gets to feeling better soon and I soooo hope the rest of us will miss it.But honestly, what are the chances of that?A few picture of the littlest love.Taylor is very into braiding her hair and Zoey sits so sweetly and patiently while she does it too.I want to also bring your attention to 3 other darling girls that we have "met" via this blogging world.They all are battling leukemia.ALL to be specific.Won't you join me in keeping them in your prayers and sending their families peace and strength as they journey this very long road.