Monday, March 23, 2009

My bed beckons .....

but before I oblige,a quick update.I arrived home later than I usually do when it's my evening home.8:30 tends to be my norm but today it was more like 9:30.What a difference an hour makes.Mostly from the stand point of spending time with the kids.The boys were still up but seeing it was late, there wasn't much time for hanging out and catching up before it was teeth brushing and off to bed.We snuggled into the bottom bunk and read a few books.After prayers it was off to do a few loads of laundry,pick up the house a bit,unpack my hospital bag and well,still tons to do to make the morning go smoother but honestly,I just don't have it in me.I am exhausted.If my head hits the pillow before midnight,I'll be happy though.As for the princess ... finding her way.This morning she awoke and the first thing I noticed was that familiar pasty whiteness to her precious face.A few rounds ago I would have put money down in Vegas that her hemoglobin was down but as each round has proved,that whiteness is just a precursor for things to come.Meaning,her paleness is just an outward signal of the treatment taking hold.Labs were drawn and numbers have already started to drop and now the familiar number dance begins.Zoey has remained fairly constant in putting forth a pattern to her bottoming out and I feel certain this round will be no different.In fact I seriously doubt if my mental state can take anything other than a Zoey picture perfect round.But,it's a crap shoot folks and our floor this week lies testament to that.Very strange vibes up there this week.Eerily quiet and the grouping of children and families that we have grown close to over the last 5 months seem to all be around.Various stages of treatment but all there.The quiet and stillness won't last long.Unfortunately,beds will fill before you know it, with new diagnosis' and returning patients.How I wish there weren't a need for those beds to be filled.Speaking of beds,we were moved into an enormous room.I am telling you,even though we have a roommate,what a difference some space makes.I kid you not,if they try and move us,I will not go without a fight and I might seriously consider chaining myself and Zoey to what ever solid fixture I can find in there.That's how great this room is.Talk about a boost for your mental health.And as for roommate,can I just say,oh,my,gosh!!!His name is Christian.He is two.He has AML and he has Down syndrome.Darling,absolutely darling.I guess that's all for now.Not very exciting but trust me,when you are talking 4E,you can do without excitement.Now,I have a confession to make.That bed that is beckoning me isn't exactly mine .... it's Joe's.I have had the hardest time this round going to bed without Mark and without my littlest love right next to me.So, when I head up stairs lately I have been crawling into Joe's bed and sleeping with him.Joe wanders into my bed every night anyway so I figure I will save him a trip.Tonight Jake is in there as well,it's a full size bottom bunk,so tonight I will sleep soundly next to my two best little guys.Keep those prayers coming please and tomorrow I will post pictures of the brave little hero.

19 comments:

Mia hat eins mehr! said...

Thanks for the update. I hope....äh guess you had a really good sleep! And the boys as well.

A big room is so great...it makes you feel so much better.You can move around a little and don`t feel like being in jail, right? Now, I am loooking foreward to seeing photos! Go, team Z!

By the way, can you believe it`s 5 months now? I find it hard to believe, 5 months , 1 year...I am feeling timeless in a way.

Mia hat eins mehr! said...

I forgot to ask, how did you manage to create the button "click here to see more of Zoeys friends"? It`s beautiful!!!!

stephanie said...

Heather thanks for the update. Keeeping the prayers coming to all of you. Take care, kisses and hugs,Stephanie and family

3saints said...

It makes me so sad that your fighting this battle, that Zoey has to fight this battle...please know I'm sending you lots of support....
Whenever my son is admitted his Dad also does the nights for the most part and I find myself pulling my other 2 little ones in bed with me, it seems we all 3 need to feel that comfort. Hope you got some sleep last night...

Warmly
Kate

Cammie Heflin said...

Praying that things go well and you get good rest and keep that awesome room!

Junior said...

Keeping you in our prayers, hope you were able to get a very restful nights sleep. Hug Zoey for us.

Lacey said...

Wow, you seem to have all the DS kids by you. It makes all the difference when your stuck in the hospital to get a good room, you chain yourself is you have to. Praying for that sweet warrior. Lacey and Jax

Michelle said...

You have been consuming my thoughts a lot this week...good to get an update and know you are getting through (as I knew you would)...I hope that bed with your sweet boys was filled with sweet dreams, peace, comfort and that the harsh reality you are living was silent for a few hours and you were whisked away to some pure, unrusstled beauty with your sweet family. Prays are with you my friend!

Hope said...

I hope you slept well. I'm praying for sweet Zoey always.

The VW's said...

What a sweet picture in my mind of you and your boys sleeping together! I pray that you all got a great night's sleep!

Prayers continue for Zoey and all of you! Yay to no excitement in the hospital! Boring is always good there! Hang in there! Hugs and prayers being sent your way!

mommaof4wife2r said...

bless your heart...so much to face. i pray your sleep was mutliplied and you were rested this morn. praying also for sweet zoey and her treatments and her next weeks to come.

sounds like the room is a "keeper"...buy the chains now so you are ahead of the game!

scrappy quilter said...

Thanks for the update. Zoey has been heavy on my heart these past couple of days. Continued prayers. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

Kelly said...

Hi, just checking in on your little warrior. Do not let them boot you out of that big room, having a little space seems a lot better.

Kele said...

Hope you had a good night sleep snuggled with your little guys! I have no doubt your Princess Warrior will keep up with her tradition on hitting the numbers and getting the heck outta there!
Thinking of you guys, finally got a cell phone again so I will call this week!

MJMILLS said...

AWWW at least Im not the only one to crawl into bed with my kiddos! hahha! Thanks for the update! I always pray for Z on my way to work in the morning! It's habit now, and I like it that way! I sent u an email, just so u can be looking for it! HUGS!

therextras said...

Blessings on your whole family. Esp the blessing of sleep. And keeping the awesome room! Barbara

Victoria Strong said...

Just know you and your darling family are in the thoughts and prayers of so many, many people. Thinking of you and Miss Super Hero!

Anonymous said...

Appreciate your posting and update. Glad you have new, spacious digs on 4E. Doesn't last fall seem one hundred years ago in some respects and just like yesterday in others. Nice snuggling with Joe and Jake, keep it up hero mommy warrior. Love and prayers all your way, xo Christi Harman

Sophie's Story by Elaine said...

Though it is my bed that is beckoning me right now...my little Sophie is in it right now. She has been since she was 18 months old. It gives me peace.

I am hoping and praying that Zoey has still been Zoey these last few days and this round will end no differently than the rest.