Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Be forewarned,language content may not be for all .....

I am pissed.Absolutely pissed.But in all honesty, more devastated than anything.If you have been bombarded over the last 6 months with downer posts about children with cancer,their unimaginably unfair and barbaric treatments and word coming that despite even those unimaginably unfair and barbaric treatments, they still won't get their miracle,then you better stop reading now.However,if you care,once again,to step momentarily into the world that was thrust upon us 6 months ago,then continue.I do promise this new world of ours, is packed full of beautiful moments but beware,it is simultaneously riddled with unspeakable sadness.Today more sadness and this one blindsided me and took me out at the knees,literally.Background is simple.Beginning of round 3, I spy this amazing pirate clad child roaming the halls.Bald of course and his face new to me.It's not as if I know all the faces of the 4E but if you have been there as long as we have,you have come to recognize the regulars.Well,I stop,say hi and ask him his name.Pablo he tells me and in that moment I know I am in the presence of something or rather someone, pretty darn special.Not that all these kids aren't special but some,well,some just have this aura that is indescribable.Pablo is one such kid.Out from his room steps mom,darling Jo Ann and yes they are regulars but from 4W.Transplanted to our neck of the woods due to shortage of beds.Which,in and of itself is pretty sad, that the oncology floor lacks enough beds for the number of children that are battling this nasty demon.Hate every aspect of this beast.Anyway,I could go on and on and tell you story after story about Pablo and his amazing family but instead,could you go here.Get to know him yourself and then pray for him.Because he really needs it.Badly.And so do Jo Ann and Jeff and Grady and all those who love Pablo.This is my life now.Pablo and his family have become family. As have the others that walk this parallel journey beside. us.We have come to love them.Every single one of them.That is all I have for now.Not much left in me at the moment.I suppose my language wasn't all bad, was it?I let most of it fly before I started posting.I have more but for now I am numb.I will continue to pray.And hope.Because sometimes,on a day like today,there is nothing else left to do.

8 comments:

Lacey said...

I think that is part of what I'm feeling right now to. You put it into words better than me. The other stuff I posted about kind of broke the camels back. Mines a little different though. I'm still stuck on the suffering of a man that has put his hands on so many little hearts and saved so many lifes. How can God make this man suffer, and so many bright young kids go to soon, its just not fair and I'm pissed off to. I'm going to check out Pablos site right now. Hugs for us all!!

stephanie said...

I just came from Pablos site, what a beauty he is. The language continues because I'm pissed off too. Why???? Is this somehow completely necessary? I try to have faith but if anything is going to shake it, it's nightmares like this. I wish God had equipped us with more understanding, because I really don't get!But I will continue to pray,nothing else I can do, steph P.S kisses and prayers to all

Hope said...

Heather, I'm not a mom of a T21 baby, nor a mother of a child with Cancer. But I am a childhood cancer survivor who happens to have a special needs child. I hate nothing more than watching a child struggle. Nothing inspires me more than watching these kids smile through their struggles. Still, my heart breaks to know they have to fight so very hard.

I'm praying for all these beautiful Children.

The VW's said...

I've been sitting here crying this morning thinking about so many children who are suffering right now. It breaks my heart and breaks my spirit daily. It just doesn't make sense! I'm sorry that this is bringing you down too! I can only imagine how difficult it has been and is for you, seeing these precious children in the hospital suffering must be SO HARD!!! The only thing that we can do is pray and be there for these kids and their families. You have done a great job at this and are such a blessing to so many! Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you and praying!

Michelle said...

Just came back from Pablo's site...oh what a sweet boy...he is very special! My heart breaks for them and the tears fall...even with all the faith, hope and understanding I have, I don't know how I could handle losing a child either. It's a real fear every day! The ONLY thing I know for 100% sure is that God does love us...we are not meant to suffer so much without hope and peace, but gain love, understanding, wisdom and the knowledge that everything spans far beyond this life, far beyond our understanding at times, far beyond our comprehension, but to keep in our hearts and minds the knowledge that God loves usmore then we'll ever know, is what gets me through each day never knowing what will be tomorrow! You are right, most times Prayer is all we have...so with that, mine will focus towards you, Zoey, Pablo and his family...I pray for peace, understanding and hope!

Michelle Riggs said...

Heartbreaking. Thank you for letting us know so that we can pray too.

I love seeing pictures of your beautiful family.

Pam said...

I have found myself asking why alot lately too. In fact I had to quit reading blogs alot because I was just so mad that God was taking so many young little ones who could have had such an amazing future.

I believe that their spirits are just too pure to be here, and that they need to be with Him doing much more important work. That's the only comfort I find in it.

Our hearts go out to Pablo and his family. What an amazing little family they are.

As for miss Zoey, she is looking absoutley beautiful as ever. That smile just melts my heart everytime I see her. We love you guys.

((HUGS))

mrsrubly said...

i have been keepign up with zoey. however, it's been really busy @ wrok. so no comments. althou reading this post, you are so right. there are children in this world that you come accross. children that god place's right in front of you. BAM~in your face. there's something about this child that pulls you in. a closeness per se. undescribalbe. had that happen with a child in the church nursery where i do volunteer work. although i had my doubts about abuse, this boy was just in my heart. But also, there is zoey. she has that ora about her that just tugged and pulled @ my heart strings. just a gorgeous courageous little girl. of whom i am learning a lot about. she has touched my heart and leared me in. zoey i am praying that that round is it. i will pray for your counts. i will pray for Pablo. i am gettign to his site soon. take care and may god bless you and blanket his healing aroudn u zoey. may he put you and momma in the palm of his hand.