Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Home ....




23 days.Not bad considering RSV and pneumonia could have sidelined us a whole lot longer.This was our longest stay yet but not by much.Round 4 ... officially over.Hard to believe I must tell you.Time plays that funny trick on you.Seems like Zoey has been fighting this latest battle forever but on the flip side,the time has flown by.Make any sense?Our attending sat with me for awhile before we left.I ended up crying.Poor guy.Probably didn't know what to make of it.Well,actually he seemed to genuinely understand my emotions.Today,I was filled with a bit of fear.Knowing that we were heading home only to return for the 5/6 final rounds.Final round means no more chemo.Final round means Miss Zoey must fly on her own.No safety net of chemo.Sounds strange I know.One would assume we would be more than ready to kiss this thing goodbye and we are but .... scary,uncertain times ahead,really not a whole lot different than where we have already been dwelling though.It's all scary.So,in one moment I was crying and in the next moment I had a bounce to my step as my little love and I headed out the door.Not of course before saying our goodbyes.Another strange component of this journey.My 4E family.Nurses,doctors and the other families that I miss and think of daily.Especially the kids.Each time I come home I feel the overpowering need to call and check in and find out how each of them are doing.Hoping and praying they are finding their way through their days.Zoey is looking and sounding really good.Still a slight cough which is apt to linger for awhile.Not uncommon after what her little lungs have just been through.So we keep a close eye on her.Stay in the confines of home and return for a follow up visit on the 20th.Chances are that her marrow will take just as long to fully recover as the last time.Knowing that,we will probably not access her weekly for draws thank goodness for that.5 weeks was the duration between rounds last time and it will likely be similar again for round 5.This time I will totally and completely cherish the time home.Last time I was so fixated on getting to the next round that I lost moments.Not this time around.The only draw back to treatment delay is that it puts us farther out until Zoey's protocol is complete.We are most likely looking at June as the month when we are finished.I keep saying I and we but really,this is all Zoey.This amazingly courageous little girl who is our light and our life and our inspiration.Tonight,once again,Zoey is home,safe and sound where she belongs and for that we are beyond grateful.God continues to bless us and carry us and remind us daily that life is indeed good.And to all of you,dear family and friends,our heartfelt thanks for loving this precious child of ours.

30 comments:

Junior said...

We are so happy to hear that you are home. Big hugs to Zoey

Anonymous said...

Yeah!! Zoey is home.!!! And in time for Easter with the whole Needham family intact under one roof. (Catlin & Danny too, I'm sure)

Zoey what an amazing, warrior/princess you are! An inspiration to each and everyone of us.

3:50 am here on East Coast - will try for some more ZZZZZ's

Love & hugs to everyone

Bluebelle

PS Heather-yes I understand your fear of last chemo coming up and then flying on own. It's scary, but little one will pull you through with her strengh and strong will. (God and all his angels are watching over her)

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful Easter gift - home! Zoey looks so happy. And Heather - remember - you are never flying alone - God bless and prayers are coming your way from Otisco Lake

Robyn

stephanie said...

Yeah! the whole family together for Easter.What a great gift.We are so completely happy for you all.Heather, Zoey is going to fly through rounds 5&6 and never look back. Remember we are always with you,Sending our prayers and extra big hugs to the bravest little princess. All our love,Happy, Happy Easter, Stephanie & Family

3saints said...

Oh I'm so glad sweet Zoey is home, and that you can all be together for a while. Of course you are scared..you have every right to be. You are allowed those moments, look what you all have been through...
Hugs to you all...
Kate

Cammie Heflin said...

So glad to know that she is home all happy and content!

The VW's said...

So happy that you are home again! I pray that Zoey continues to get better and that you will feel peace as you await the next rounds! HUGS!!!

Danette said...

She looks so peaceful to be in her own bed. Glad you are home in time for Easter!! So many reasons to celebrate "new life." (I can understand your many emotions though. Once that dreaded C word enters your life, it can never be the same again. Always waiting, wondering, what if-ing, etc.) Get some good rest in your own beds, and enjoy the many moments. Love you. HAPPY EASTER!!

Bea Braun said...

Yeah, Zoey's home! We've been praying very hard for her to kick those nasty germs to the curb. God has answered everybody's prayers and you get to celebrate Easter at home as a family! What a blessing.

Bea & Family

Mo said...

Love to see her still rear-facing in her carseat :)

Best wishes for a wonderful, restful, healthy month at home!

Kristen's mom said...

I keep saying that I know exactly how you feel...I think that it is because we are only a month or two ahead of you. I cried many times during our last hospital stay. I miss the new friends I met on our 4th floor. But the thing that is the most scary is the flying on her own thing. Something made Kristen's bone marrow produce leukemia cells about a year ago and now the chemo is done...what will happen? It is something I think about every day. Everyone expects me to be happy and so excited to finally be finished...but that isn't how I feel inside, I am scared!

Anonymous said...

Home sweet home. Love and prayers, Christi Harman xoxoxoxoxxo

Michelle said...

Oh I am so glad you were able to journey home again, back to family, back to some sort of normalcy, back to your own bed and Zoey's own bed...back home! The fear of change, the fear of the unknown, the fear of those first steps on our own are real and can be overwhelming. But you know Zoey better then anyone else, you know the first incling of change in her, you know how hard she fights and you know when it all is starting to get the best of her...so confidence in you, my friend...confidence that God will not let you walk the uncertain path alone, but He will be walking it with you, and He has put people in your life that genuinely love you and are there, also, to walk that path, enjoy those adventures, take those 'walks' of faith, pray with you, cry with you, laugh with you. Look to the day when you can all go out to the park, or the beach and just feel that sun on your face...no more confines of the 4th floor, only open spaces to be free, to be a family, complete once again...so glad you are home safe! xoxo

Kelly said...

YAY!!! I'm sure the Easter Bunny will be hopping your way with even a bigger smile now!

Monica said...

Zoey remains in my prayers! I don't have your badge displayed due to space...but I do provide a link. I hope all is well and hope you will have a Happy Easter!

Loren Stow said...

Yay Zoey!
I am so happy to hear that you all are home! Fantastic news!
Enjoy the moments and I hope that your time at home before the next round is filled with Joy, Love, Laughter and Adventure!

Alessandra Bifulco said...

I'm so happy that you're home! Zoey is constantly in my prayers. Happy Easter!

Kele said...

Love seeing the Princess sleeping so soundly in her own bed, also loved talking to you yesterday, my sweet friend.
Thinking of you guys and am so pleased you guys are nearing the end of this odeal!
Love you all!

Karen Owens said...

Happy you are home! Love to you all -- enjoy your Easter!

Jackson's Blog said...

So glad to read Zoey is home again! I know what you mean, it feels like forever, but the time goes so fast at the same time. I hope you and your family have a happy Easter! Miss Zoey is one incredible girl!

just jean said...

Welcome home, sweet Zoey! May you be blessed with peaceful days, precious moments,and restful nights.

Sophie's Story by Elaine said...

Welcome home, sweet Zoey. To be a family together again under the same roof must feel like such a sense of wholeness.

Judy said...

So happy to hear Ms. Zoey is home! Heather, please take gentle care of yourself. Mama warriors need lots of rest :) Happy Easter!!!

Victoria Strong said...

So glad you are home! I hope the moments you have with everyone together will allow you all to take a much needed deep breath to prepare for the next round. I know Miss Zoey will love being with her brothers and sisters, in her own bed, with her own toys, with her family. Happy Easter!

Dawson said...

WELCOME HOME again sweet girl!!

Cheri said...

So glad you are home!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to hear Zoey is home. Faith has that wonderful cough too. We had a very low temperature this morning so I am praying it goes away and we don't have to take a trip to the ER and will most likely get admitted since she is close to zero.

We will keep you guys in our prayers that she will fly though.
Have a Wonderful Easter and make sure Zoey gets some eggs to find.
Katie

Anonymous said...

Welcome home Heather, Mark and Zoey. Have a wonderful Easter weekend with your family. Hopefully, everyone will be home. Talk with you soon.
kathleen

Reagan Leigh said...

So glad you are finally home. Wishing you all a wonderful Easter weekend together! Hope to hear from you soon!
Tera

scrappy quilter said...

What wonderful news to hear that Zoey is home. Hope you have a wonderful Easter. Hugs..