Friday, October 30, 2009

And Life Moves Forward .....

I always find it so very difficult to post again after we have lost one of our beautiful friends.It feels a bit disloyal in some weird way.Seems far too easy.None of this should become easy.We need to continue to be startled and shocked to attention each and everytime we lose a child to this beast.We can never,ever sit back and surrender and say,"These things sometimes happen.This is just part of life."I may know those two things but it doesn't mean I have come to any point in my life, that resembles a dwelling place of acceptance.But life does go on.That remains to be the ultimate contradiction in my mind. The undeniable heartbreaking truth that exists along side the indescibable beauty ... life does indeed go on.Our prayers continue to pour out freely to the Smith's, as our tears flow just as readily at the thought of their days beginning and ending without the presence of Kai alongside them.

A semi-quick post on pre-Halloween hoopla.And,you know,that is exactly what it is.Hoopla.It seems that Halloween is quickly beginning to rival the craziness of Christmas.Seriously.Stores are jammed.Costume prices exorbitant.Pumpkin Patches have become these full tilt extravaganzas that cost an arm and a leg to just walk through the gate and all the rest ... extra.I refuse.Now don't get me wrong.I LOVE Halloween.Really love it.But I SO yearn for my Upstate NY Cider Mill.We have nothing like that and I miss that.I am excited to have another "set" of little ones to carve with and dress up with and just watch their wide eyed wonder of it all.I just wish,that like so much else in this world,that Halloween hadn't become so commercialized.Oh well,can't fight change.Oh wait.Yes I can.It's a no go on "PumpkinDisneyland".

Jake and Joe had a Halloween Parade followed by parties,at school.Their school implemented a "no mask,no weapons" rule this year.Try telling that to 2 kids with a trunk full of "Batman,Iron Man,Superman,Spiderman,Optimus Prime,Bubble Bee and Various Star Wars characters',costumes.Doesn't go over big.They opted for an astronaut suite that Joe got at the Griffith Observatory and Jake ... Ozzy Osborne.. we had that costume ... he knows who he is and ... don't ask.We carved pumpkins tonight.Strange to do it without the big girls.Although Jess did get home at tail end.Pumpkin carving continues to be one of our very favorite,long standing,family traditions.Joe hung for most of the time but crashed and burned and will have to finish tomorrow.Zoey loved watching and her Jammies ... skeleton ... that glow in the dark!Very cool.As for the pictures with daddy.I caught her signing daddy by herself.She also is doing "shhh" because Joe was sleeping on the ottoman and she puts her hand on the side of her head for "sleep".She has picked up a number of signs over the last few weeks."Milk" being one.She fists her hand and rubs her thumb across the top.So cute.She does "water" by sticking her finger in her mouth.Similar to "shhh"She really is showing us new things all the time and I can tell, that her receptive language,what she understands us saying,has really gone through a spurt.I'll save some of the other new things she is doing for another post.Tomorrow marks a year ago that her first chemo treatment began.Instead of getting hung up on that or feeling like Halloween will forever be dampened,we are celebrating.A year ago she received the chance at life.How blessed are we?


stephanie said...

Zoey looks delightful! I've never carved a pumpkin! Next year for sure.I love the simple Holidays too. before every thing was just a price ticket. We try to keep it that way too. Simple good fun, what's so wrong with that?
The boys look AWESOME!!!!!!!
Happy Halloween, from our family to yours!

Kelly said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I appreciate your words more than you know. I look forward to getting to know you and your family via the web!

Anonymous said...

Your blessings flow over to us in your sharing on the blog. Thank you so much, Heather.


Lacey said...

I love Zoeys jammies. We had our school parade yesterday too. First time Jax been at the school since his trach. Give everyone a hug from us.

Anonymous said...

We love the picture of joe in the astronaut suit! He looks like such a model. Zoey is precious as always. Cait says her teeth look like "No David!" in the first picture.
By the way, nice shirt dad:)

Anonymous said...

As another upstate NYer-turned-Southern Californian, it's a rather long drive, but every October we make our way up to Avila Valley Barn in San Luis Obispo. They have pumpkins, apple picking, roasted corn, berry picking, etc. It's like being at home again--the only thing is, the leaves don't really change color there!

Caitlin Sarah said...

That last comment was from Taylor by the way.

Yes, Joe looks so sweet, I love him so much.
Jake absolutely cracks me up. Danny was wondering if you put white face paint on him, but I told him that the huge black hair just makes him look extra pale.

The pumpkin carving brings back so so many memories. I vividly remember lining our pumpkins up on the table and turning off the lights after carving them at the house on Via Calderon.

Wishing we were home to spend this fun night with my other babies.

Love, Cait, Danny, and Charlotte

Anonymous said...

We carve pumpkins today. The cider mill is great you are right!

scrappy quilter said...

What sweet pictures. As to halloween...we just don't do it.

How exciting your little princess is doing so great at signing. M could never get it. I love seeing her with her daddy, signing with him. What a treasure!!

Anonymous said...

Love the pumpkin cutting photos- Takes me back when Gramma Barbara & I visited and "the two older girls" (Jess & Caitlin) and their daddy carved pumpkins. Mark's was an "over the top" pumpkin. An Oriental style as I remember. We then took them (Pumpkins) to your church and they were blessed at the special children's mass. The girls wore their costumes. Taylor was about 2 years old I believe.
Ah, the memories we all have.

Miss Z showing her own signage.... Love it!!!!

The "boys" are awesome. Great photos. Just bet Miss Z loved the whole pumpkin cutting scene!

Love & hugs to everyone

Aunt Bluebelle

PS Heather... you, the girls, Gramma Barb & I went to the "pumpkin patch" and I took a photo of the 3 "older girls" as they are known now, sitting in a wheelbarrow among the pumpkins. You transferred the photo to a coffee mug which you sent me

And Yeah! for upstate NY! We do love the leaves changing color here. Truly an amazing sight each and every year.

Googsmom said...

OOps, I forgot to sign out of Renee's blog LOL. {{{HUGS ZOEY}}}

Happy Halloweeen everyone!

datri said...

Love the pics! Yep, fall is awesome here in Upstate NY (although technically we fall between the Catskills and the Poconos). The apple picking, the pumpkin picking....although the leaves weren't so pretty this year around here, lots of brown and yellow. Almost all gone now, and so we wait for winter.....

Stephanie said...

Very, and I'm so glad that we as the parents of these special ones can recognize the beauty of this life before it has passed.
We are lucky, aren't we?

p.s. remembering Kai tonight and the fun he should be having.. it's not right.

Kele said...

Love the 1st pic of Zoey, such a big girl smile! Hooray for all the signing... so pleased to hear all she is doing, WOW!