A View from Our New Normal ...

An afternoon,four beautiful hours, filled talking, laughing and crying with, the most hopeful, faith filled woman I have ever been in the presence of.A mom who kissed her beautiful 8 year old boy goodbye for one final time this past March and still can call herself blessed and brimming with gratitude,for those all too short but precious 8 years.A few hours this evening,watching my boys run,laugh,and play with a beautiful, bald headed,NG nosed,giggly,smiley little love,while her mom and I talked about the upcoming months of treatment and all the fear and anxiety that goes along with it.A facebook update from a 4 year old cancer veterans mom,wondering how in the world can it be, that blasts are still present after 5 months of treatment?How can this be when her daughter had already successfully fought ONE type of leukemia only to relapse with a completely DIFFERENT kind?A post update tonight,that brought me to tears,that a sweet,courageous,fellow chromosomally enhanced AML warrior,diagnosed only one month before Zoey,is potentially facing relapse .. already.Mind you,she too fought one type of leukemia as a small child,relapsed and beat that,only to fight AGAIN a new type in her early twenties.Has she not endured enough?Has her family not been asked to endure enough?

While there are moments. that I wish I could more easily meld in with the PTA talking mom's at the boy's school ... that world is really longer mine.Nor,to be honest,do I really want it to be.This is where my new normal his now.My heart and life now dwells with THESE mom's.Mother's who would,in one second give their lives,in order to spare the lives and pain and paths of their children.I know that some have come to my blog and clicked away without reading much.A sick child,with sick children as friends, sad posts and updates,is more then they can handle.One time it was complete strangers.I followed my site meter to a "mom's board",I use that word "mom" loosely because what I read was down right painful.One of them had found Zoey's blog and was sharing the address.A few went,came back and said something along the lines of "I don't need to read another f***ing blog on a sick child.WAY too depressing."Seriously ... what kind of a narrow minded and quite frankly cruel "mom's board" was that?Hurt me then and pisses me off now.And believe me,it isn't just strangers that feel this way.My life has been filled to the brim the last year with people too stuck in their own selfish world and unable to "deal"with the sickness and sadness to keep up with our lives or the lives of these other children.This is real.These are real lives and you know,people can bury their heads,avoid because they can't handle it but know one thing,it could be you one day.And maybe that is what scares them and maybe that is the saddest thing of all.That peoples own fear for their own child and themselves, keep them away from experiencing some of life's greatest blessings.If people come here and see sadness and despair,then they have truly missed the voice of this blog.The voices of hope,resounding loudly not only from Zoey but from all of her friends,here on earth and those flying free from above.

I have digressed ... my post's main objective is to shed light on our new normal,not for my sake but for the sake of those standing on the edge in this moment. I come to all of you,and beg all of you who do care, to lend whatever support, in whatever way, you are able.Please look at the faces of Ashlyn,Kristen and Gavin.Study their innocence and pray for them and their families.Send them peace and strength for their journey's.