Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Slow and Steady ...
Miss Zoey and I awoke early yesterday and donned our Pablove shirts and headed to CHLA for labs.Wearing our Pablove shirts,as I wrote to a friend last night,felt empowering.I felt carried by the spirit of the beautiful boy Pablo,as well as so many others,gone far too soon.I felt capable of facing whatever we would face.Yesterday,I felt strong.Don't get me wrong,I also felt that familiar pit in my stomach,but as a friend wrote to me,that feeling was just a feeling coming from a mommie taking her baby to clinic.
Zoey's numbers looked alright.Not bad.Her lymphocytes were up a little, which would make sense since she has been nursing that cold for a few weeks now.Nothing to worry too much about.We still would love a bit more ANC.We are only at 1060.Up a bit from 2 months ago.White count at almost 4,which is also up a bit as well.Platelet's are holding at 200,000 and hemoglobin is 17.That is some serious rich red blood coursing through Miss Zoey's little body.17 is well above the upper range of normal but her doctor just shrugged it off.To be sure though, we are making a long over due appointment with her cardiologist.High hemoglobin can sometimes indicate an issue with heart function.I think however,in the end, the consensus is that Zoey is doing this marrow recovery in her usual way ... her way.I was once again reminded that children with Down syndrome do not follow the "book" and when there doesn't appear to be a cut and dry answer,well,we blame it on that extra chromosome.One doctor told me that some of her patient's with Down syndrome take a whole year, to a year and a half to fully recover.Sounds as if Zoey is going by that book instead.We were cut loose for another 2 months and that,that felt amazing.
I had so many emotions hitting me yesterday.Joy,sadness,gratitude,helplessness.A mixed bag as I walked the halls of that hospital.As I drove.As I spoke and wrote to other mom's,my friends who I have come to love dearly,who don't have their little loves with them this Christmas.Hoping, as I walked away or hit send, that my words were adequately conveying what I hold so deep within my heart.And to you my beautiful mommy friends,you know who you are.I love you all.I love your children.Thank you for allowing Zoey and I to be part of your journey.
So today.A new day.A blessing and a gift.Not taken for granted.Embraced and brimming with perspective and hope.Slow and Steady both Zoey and I go.