Monday, February 1, 2010

And In An Instant ....

I had such other plans for this post.Lots to catch you up on but now,now it all pales in comparison to this.This heaviness that is weighing my heart down tonight.This heaviness that literally,in some moments,is taking my breath away.This heaviness,that I have felt far too many times over the course of this last year,is enough tonight to make me want to take my family and run.Run far.But that is the cowards way out.Cowardly,because not too far from my home,is a family,who can't run.Tomorrow they sit down and decide on battle plan.Again.

You see,I love a boy.A boy named Christopher.Christopher is part of the "extra chromosome club" and Christopher has ALL.He just turned 11.He just took his "Make A Wish" trip.A trip taken NOT because his treatments weren't going well .... the opposite in fact.... he was doing better and looking better then ever.Cruel,isn't it?This whole cancer thing.Just plain cruel.I am still searching for substantiation and validation in the 89-90% cure rate with leukemia,cuz frankly people,I'm just not seeing it from my vantage point.My view is shrouded with anger and frustration and disbelief.I see before me families grappling with the toughest decisions they could ever,ever have imagined themselves making.I see families trying to figure out how it is they got to this point when they have done everything and anything,all in the name of cure.

You did not want to be in ear shot of my garage when I received the news tonight.My words were not pretty and why should they be?This disease is ugly.Truly ugly.

Tonight,those other post ideas will be set aside and be replaced with the only thing I can and have ever been able to do in times like these.And that is pray.Prayers of strength and grace to a family and a boy that I love.

17 comments:

Tamara said...

Found your blog from Carey's Dream Big. So sorry to hear about your friend. My son with DS is 12, and I guess he'll have to put up with a few extra hugs today - We'll be praying here too.

Anonymous said...

Heather - prayers will be sent for Christopher and his family, and as always prayers for the Needhams too.

Robyn from Otisco Lake

Anonymous said...

Heather - prayers will be sent for Christopher and his family, and as always prayers for the Needhams too.

Robyn from Otisco Lake

3saints said...

I am so sorry...I just don't even know what to say...your right it's ugly...and not fair. My heart breaks for them.

Warmly
Kate

stephanie said...

had a bad feeling when I saw the title to your post.
not very pretty words here either.
Will pray for Christopher and his family.
And you too friend for your to often heavy heart.

Love you.

The VW's said...

I'm so sorry Heather! Sometimes this life really sucks, doesn't it?! Thinking of you and his family and praying!! HUGS!!!

Anna said...

The Holy Spirit is the comforter we need in times like these. He hears our groanings and prays on our behalf. Our intercessor. I am praying you feel it dear friend as I pray for you and CHristopher and his dear family. God is near to them. Blessed are those that mourn..... so painful isnt it? {hugs}

Samantha said...

I agree... there are more children that die than survive, it seems. I've actually stopped following blogs and caring bridge websites because i am so sad to say, that every child I followed is no longer with us... Lukemia is suppost to be the "easiest" cancer, but just yesterday a little boy died in my community. The saddness of a child lost to cancer, the thought of what the parents must be feeing, brings me to my knees... in sadness and in prayer... I will be thinking and praying for Christopher and his family.

tish said...

Heather, I am supposed to be getting ready to meet you at your house right now... and I just read your post. I am so sorry.

We will think ORANGE this week for Leukemia Cancer Awareness Week (in fact, I am wearing orange right now to honor my little love, Zoey).

We will pray alongside you for Christopher and his family...

Kristen's mom said...

We too had our trip to Disneyland planned for the first week in November because Kristen was doing GREAT! Little did we know, that instead of Disneyland we would be in the hospital, Kristen having a bone marrow biopsy to confirm what we already knew to be true. Just 3 weeks prior her blood coounts were finally normal. Things were looking good, and then that ugly disease thought it would show up her again. This week, Kristen and I are home, My family at Disneyland... without us. Bitter yet sweet as life musts go on. But somehow for Kristen and I it goes nowhere. Just to the hospital and back home. I too HATE cancer.

Lacey said...

Cancer is such an ugly monster! And seeing friends suffer is even worse. Sorry you have to go through this again, love you!

Krissy said...

Three words of prayer and support. I. hate. this.

Monica said...

Heartbreaking...I am so sorry. No one should have to endure Cancer...ESPECIALLY children! My heart has been heavy as well. But I plan to write about that very soon.

My thoughts and prayers and thoughts are being sent for Christopher and his family. They are very blessed to have you as their friend.

just jean said...

Add our prayers to all the others.

Anonymous said...

so sad. Ugly sickness lurking around, no matter how much we want it all to go away





Bluebelle

Googsmom said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and Prayers from all of us here Heather!!
{{{{{{HUGS CHRISTOPHER}}}}}}

Peter Olson said...

Tell me more about Christopher.
What does he like? What is his favorite color? Is he a cat or dog person? Does he have a best friend?
I can tell from your words you think that he is a very special person.
I would like to get to know him too. Maybe I could be his friend too.