Today I headed to CHLA to make a Heart Blanket Project delivery to our buddies battling on the 4th floor.My goal when this project began was to hit the 4 delivery quota a year and I am extremely happy to say,today we met that goal.
As always it was nice to see the familiar faces of the nurses and staff that were part of seeing our girl to this day but at the same time,I hated walking along those corridors knowing all too well what was transpiring behind closed doors.I didn't have that pit in my stomach that I use to have, when I walked off the elevator today but I did,literally feel a bit nauseous at the the smell.You know,that unmistakable hospital smell.I'll never get over that.
I think I brought 16 blankets,which is a light day on 4E but I also know,it won't remain that way.Beds will fill up by tomorrow.It happens without fail.
Our next delivery will be in October.The last week in October to be exact.2 months between deliveries is bit sooner than we usually do but at the end of October,the 29th to be exact,we will mark exactly 2 years since Zoey's diagnosis.Seems incredible that 2 years has come and gone but the feeling of peace,with this much time and distance between Zoey and her diagnosis,is indescribable.We continue to rejoice in the here and now of these moments.
As I was leaving and standing at the elevator doors,I looked down 4W,which was not actually our side but I happened to exchange glances with a nurse that use to rotate between 4E,4W and BMT.She looked at me,mouth hanging open,immediate frown on her face and walked towards me.I knew what she was thinking.In fact, we didn't need to exchange words at first.I knew that she thought I was there with Zoey. I knew that she thought we were there because Zoey had relapsed.I took her by the arm and said,"Zoey is okay."She relaxed.An audible sigh of relief.We chatted and said our goodbyes.You see,that is the reality of life with cancer.That is the reality of this unimaginable walk with a relentless foe.I knew,without really knowing,that today a blanket went to children who were in the beginning stages of their fight with cancer.I knew I delivered a blanket today to children who were in their 2nd fight with cancer.I know without a shadow of a doubt,I delivered a blanket to children who would not see the miracle that they all so deserve.I could never express to you the sadness that that brings me.The overwhelming sense of helplessness that takes over me.
So I deliver blankets.Wish I had the power to deliver a cure.For now,this will have to do.Only wish there were more.
*The fliers we hand out with each blanket,needed a new photo of the wonder girl ... is she not just so stink'n cute?We hope that families,whose children receive blankets,see in that face,a face of full of hope.Hope and faith.Necessary companions on this journey.Got to have both.No doubt about it.
20 comments:
Heather, your the BEST!!!!!
Oh the hospital smell, makes my tummy cringe! I wish I could hand deliver blankets to our hospital, they won't let us!
Wonderful. So wonderful.
Do you ever read Karen Gerstenberger's blog? She started a guild at Children's Hospital in Seattle, in memory of her daughter Katie who passed away three years ago. They make quilts and deliver them, too. She is one of the most beautiful people I know, and I think you'd love each other. You can see her blog on my blogroll -- kberger.
Awesome, what a great way to give back.
Love it!!
I know how important the blankets I recieved when Dakin was in the hospital were...they were like hugs in a time when I needed them most of all, even though the blankets weren't made for me, you know?
I agree with everyone else. What a wonderful way to give back!
It's so great that you guys do this! Great for all the warriors fighting, great for their parents to see some hope in such a low time in their lives and great for you guys, as a way to give back!
Cute picture of Miss Zoey!!! Hugs!!!
LOVE the picture of zoey sitting on the heart blanket!!! that is so wonderful what you are doing with the blanket project!!!
Zoey is so stinkin' cute in that picture! Those blankets are made with some serious love. Awesome work!
I just had to say thanks for your sweet words....You write so beautifully and words and encouragement like this is really all that is getting me through right now.....thanks!
That is awesome Heather. The little babes and their parents are sure to treasure the blankets!
In your spare time you do this! With 6 kids...I can't imagine you having any spare time! You're the best Heather. I love these soft fluffy blankets and I'm sure the kiddos love them as well. And I love that pic of Zoey...she looks like such a big girl (even though she's still tiny)!
I love this
Heather,
I've been reading your blog for just under two years. When Zoey was diagnosed a family member, who's child has infantile spasms, asked for prayer for Zoey. I started reading your blog and I was hooked. First of all, I pray that you never have to go back to that wing except to deliver those wonderful blankets. I admire your strength and courage. Secondly, on lighter note, Zoey is too stinkin cute. She has grown up, and she looks like a little girl and not a baby. That is absolutely a precious photo.
Another very special delivery, what you are doing will mean something to each child and each parent who is probably going through their worst nightmare right that moment. You are giving back in your way and I know you must feel if only there were more you could do to make their pain less, but what you are doing is alot more than you probably realise....reading about Zoey's amazing journey will give so many parents hope, strength and courage. So yes you are actually doing more than just delivering blankets.
That is such a beautiful picture of Zoey, she really looks so grown up. I love her hair, it's probably somewhat like what Saira's will look like if it ever gets longer, she also has some light curls at the end.
Great photo pic for the blanket tag! Encouragement abounds from her little face...
Um,I am waiting (impatiently, I guess) for photos of this past weekend's Needham get-together.
Hugs
Aunt Bluebelle
I'm so happy to read that those little darlings at CHLA are wrapped in Zoey's love and hope!
Zoey is no doubt our beautiful angel on earth.
Heather thanks for stopping by! What a wonderful way to give back. I'm sure those families feel so touched and comforted by your kindness.
I love you that you do this!
Heather, you are amazing! I LOVE that you do this and amazed that you have the time. I must really need to work on my organizational skills. :)
Post a Comment