Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Blessed ...

~So much sorrow and pain
Still I will not live in vain
Like good questions never asked
Is wisdom wasted on the past
Only by the grace of God go I ~Ben Harper~musician-songwriter.From the song"Blessed to be a Witness".

I have witnessed so much over the course of the last almost 2 years.The majority of which, I will never be able to reconcile in this lifetime.Ever.There has however, been immense beauty scattered amongst the ugliness of this journey with cancer.Most of which has come in the form of precious faces,not to mention the astounding courage,of the amazing children that I have been privileged to meet and ultimately,fall in love with.

This past week news came that one of our fellow 4th floor warriors had possibly relapsed.Monday it was confirmed,that indeed he had.Devastated doesn't even come close to describing how that news hit me.And as I said to someone today,if that is how I feel,can you imagine how his mommy felt?I talked to her and I heard it in her voice.It was the voice of a breaking heart.

Klein is an 11, almost 12 year old boy, who should not have to have poison pumped into his body.Again.You see, Klein has already paid his dues in my mind.He had a Bone Marrow Transplant.A perfect match.He has had an entire year,free of treatment.Free to hang out with his friends, play basketball,ride his bike,play with his Bionicles and finally,go back to school.All the things,every 11 year old should be able to do without the constant fear of this horrific disease coming back and like a thief,stealing it all away.In an instant.Not fair.None of it.

When I tell you that Klein is an incredible kid,that word incredible, doesn't even come close to describing him.He leads by example,in his unwavering faith in God.Klein is truly inspiring.I am talking an amazing, amazing kid.One day I might share with you the words he wrote to me in a card for Mother's Day,just to give you a glimpse.But not today.I just can't.My heart is so sad but my faith has got to stand firm,just as Klein's does,that God will carry and keep him,through another battle with this beast.

I wandered the house today.Finally leaving with the little love and going to Jo Ann Fabrics for material for more blankets.We have delivery number 5 coming up next month and I am more determined than ever to see The Heart Blanket Project succeed.Klein,as it so happens,was one of the first two recipient's of a blanket from the project.Blankets.Such a simple,insignificant gesture in the big spectrum of things,isn't it?.I want to whip up a cure instead damn it.That is what I really want.If only it were that easy.I'd be churning out those suckers by the dozen if I thought it would yield the miracles we need as the war wages on.And make no mistake about it ... this is a full on war.

This latest news will only rally me.That is, once I am able to catch my breath again.I will not allow it to defeat me and discourage me.This journey has robbed me of too much already.I suppose a small price to pay compared to the families who no longer have their children with them today.I owe it to all my mighty fighters,to push past and beyond my sadness and burn that sadness instead, as fuel for the journey.The journey to eradicate these diseases.The fact is,I am not capable of going out and raising the big bucks needed.I do not have the contacts or the know how but I vow,that I will do my little part,in my small corner of this world to ease this difficult road for others and perhaps not in my lifetime but God willing,in another,cancer, for our children,will be no more.It can be no other way.Enough.

*If anyone is so inclined,we have a paypal account and would welcome any donations towards our Heart Blanket Material fund.Jo Ann Fabrics has a incredible 50% off sale going on right now and we would love to stock up on material.And,as always, we welcome any and all blankets you would like to make as well.Contact me for the details on dimensions and such. is our email and the email needed for anyone who logs into paypal and wishes to make a donation.


Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your little friend. I had spoken to Mark (in car, driving home from work Tues eve) and he mentioned that another warrior was under "seige" again.

Heather - not everyone can/or has the abilty to do "big things" but it's all the small things we all can do which are coming from the heart, together make a huge donation to fight this horrid disease.

Love those photos of Miss Z - she has "grown up" so much just since April!

How is the blended diet going?

Love & Hugs


PS Lisa has some blankets from East Coast relatives - not sure if they have been sent yet.
Take care

Anonymous said...

Hi Heather I was so happy to hear your voice on my cell- I wish we could have talked-maybe today?? I am so sorry to hear about Klein-he sounds like such a wonderful person.
We have the makings of several blankets here plus Loraine made a beautiful one. Michelle and I will get them done.
I hope to talk to you soon and skype too.
I miss you guys!

Katie Epstein said...

I'm IN for blanket making....let's take a look on Saturday and come up with a date!
xxoo Katie

blogzilly said...

Oh my, I can't imagine what that kind of feeling is like. If we ever get news that Bennett's tumor comes back, I don't know how I'd take that kind of news. Could I? My heart aches for your friend.

I scrolled and clocked for a while and could not find a sort of summary about the whole blanket deal. Do you have someplace you can direct me to about it? Do you make blankets for people or are you trying to make a giant blanket that connects together ala the AIDS quilt and such to raise money? I must have missed a post or something OR I am just a big dummy. Please point me in the right direction.

Tina said...

“We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love." ....and that's exactly what you are doing. Each blanket you deliver brings a smile to a child's face and that smile is worth so so much. Carry on doing the wonderful work you are doing.

My heart aches reading about Klein I just keep thinking of the parents. Life really isn't fair. And every time you read about another child having to fight this dreaded disease it makes me sick to my stomach.

Many any hugs to sweet Zoey, she looks beautiful.

Rochelle said...

Oh Heather you have me in tears with this post. We will pray for Klein and his family.

Runningmama said...

My heart breaks for Klein and his family...going through it once seems too much, but twice is just plain cruelty. Praying for this family.

Sewconsult said...

I made a donation through paypal tonight. Consider it a hug from across the country. Words don't come easily tonight.
Beckie in Brentwood, TN

Michelle said...

I am so sorry...yet again! Miss Zoey is as precious as ever! Prayers for Klein and his family and I will get some money into your paypal account next week.

Googsmom said...

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} my friend. I love ya!

Melissa M said...

I'm sorry to hear about Klein! I will be keeping him and his family in my prayers.

Kele@ said...

Sorry I missed your call, even more sorry to hear about Klein, I can't imagine. Prayers coming his way, and a call your way. Love you guys!