Thursday, June 16, 2011

My girl and the ocean ....

The boys raced to the water and Zoey followed suit.If you look closely, you can see the path in the sand where she scooted herself towards the water. 

 Zoey is at such peace beside the water.The ocean brings out a side of her that I cannot describe.She is carefree and happy and relaxed, and seeing her that way,brings such peace to this mommies heart.

You see, before we headed to the beach on Wednesday,Zoey had her last day of school for the year.I went to the little promotion for her darling buddies that will be going to kindergarten next year.I stood back and watched all the children, and I watched my girl and I felt,for just a few moments,a little sad.You see,with the morning and afternoon class combined for the ceremony,I could really see the make up and demographics and I realized that my little love,is ,how shall I say this,"the most special of them all".I saw,up close and personal,that she is so very behind her peers.I mean really behind.Her needs are so extensive within that classroom,and I have to tell you, it made me sad.Not for long and I didn't cry, but my heart hurt, just a little bit.

Zoey and one of her amazing teachers,Miss Mohini

 I watched as the superintendent tried to hand her a little scroll with a letter of achievement.He tried to place that scroll over and over, into her little left hand and from where I stood in the back of the room I just wanted to scream,"Hello,stroke hand,not gonna grab it."But of course I didn't.But I really wanted to.So I walked up to the front of the classroom when the program was over and I picked up my sweet girl and I held her and kissed her precious face.In that moment, I just wanted to protect her and run.And we did.Okay,we didn't actually run but we left and we went and picked up the crew at home and headed to one of the only places,besides church,that brings out the most indescribable side of my wonder girl ... and my heart wasn't sad anymore.

Two little buddies for life.

Sometimes, I can hardly believe that I am a grandmother to this beautiful face.

My baby and her baby.

Going to catch some waves ....


Oh how I love this child.


Rochelle said...

Oh Heather, crying tears over that graduation ceremony. Ok maybe I am a tad emotional on this side of the planet, can't imagine why! LOVE her at the beach...truly the joy shines on her face. Love her and love you!

Cammie Heflin said...

Your girl is the most special of them all and I wouldn't have it any other way. You know my dear is the "bottom of the barrel" according to her teacher (that won't be her teacher anymore!!!) and I am finally at peace with that. God made her that way and he is perfect in His sight, just as our precious Zoey. I love you my friend and relate to this post in so many ways.

Karol said...

Oh how I love her too. Her pictures make my heart ache. I so fully understand that sharp pang when you realize that your child is being passed up in the area of development. It hurts to see other children running, jumping, skipping, when your child cannot stand or walk. It sucks to hear them read or sing when she cannot talk. However, now that Moise is 10 and there is no comparison between he and his peers, I choose to see not what he does not do but what he does do. He teaches in a deeper more profound way than other children can ever do. He teaches love and acceptance and perseverance. I choose to see, not that he cannot run, but that there are children who stop and wait for him. I do not see that he cannot pump his own swing but that several children argue over who gets the pleasure of pushing his swing. Sometimes the pain clouds our vision but the beauty is there is every single trial. Praying always for you my friend.

Anonymous said...

Here's my take on the school situation. Zoey Grace is indeed very "special" and therefore, she stands out as a top winner in her own little grade! How's that for attempting to put a positive spin on it? :)

LOVE< LOVE EVERYONE OF THESE PHOTOS. Especially the one with Charlotte standing next to "Aunt" Zoey watching the "boys" heading out to catch some waves. little buddies for sure.

Aunt Bluebelle

Kristin said...

Great pictures. Zoey looks so happy!

Bethany said...

Zoey may have the highest level of needs, but she offers the greatest rewards for loving her and teaching her. Plus she just radiates love! The pictures of her at the beach are stunning, she truly is in her element and it looks like she feels so free! She has come so far, and it doesn't matter what she can't do but all that she now CAN do!!

Melani said...

You are an amazing woman and Zoey us such
a lovely child. This post brings tears and I'm
not sure why. I love reading about you guys
Like I am part of.

colleen said...

Ah, school... it's never what it should be unfortunately. The principal clearly didn't know Zoey as an individual (or he would've known of her weakness on one side of her body) which is sad. It sounds, fortunately, like her teachers do, which is all that matters. Part of public school life that should "change" but probably won't. Great pictures from the beach... and what a wonderful way to celebrate the end of the school year! Although as you say Zoey is behind her peers, I do think her developmental path has been amazing with all that she has been through! and as you so beautifully document on this blog. have a great father's day!

Anonymous said...

Heather, you are doing such an amazing job. I can only see a glimpse in to your world, but I feel so proud knowing that Zoey has you and your family as her warriors. She is so very blessed and has made such incredible progress. I'm proud of you and incredibly proud to call your family my friends. Love - Christy Pinuelas

Elizabeth said...

I remember those times -- the same feelings that you felt in Zoey's class -- I still have them, and I have to admit that they don't get easier in the re-experiencing. And I, too, have a daughter of the water -- perhaps Zoey and Sophie are BOTH mermaids, visiting us on earth.

Love and blessings to you both, to you all.

Cole said...

Most of the time- I avoid the comparison- most of the time. It's the reason I haven't often accepted playdate invitations with kiddos that were born the month Abby was. I can do group things- but one on one-with someone exactly her age pains me. Mostly b/c I choose not to think of her in terms of what she could be doing. Could if she didn't have other more basic issues to work with. Those kids don't. They're blessed with a life so easy- in ways they should never have to think about. Your love for Zoey is what you focus on. She's so beautiful and so dear. That peace she feels at the ocean- that's real. And lovely. I think you did find gratitude in that moment Heather dear- it just isn't in numbered format like mine. PS- by the time you got here there would still be coffee- so feel free! :)


sniff. Sniff. What a very touching blog post. I know exactly how you feel times 3. Thanks for sharing.

Shelly Turpin said...

I'm glad y'all have the beach - somewhere to get away to. Thank you for sharing.

blogzilly said...

There is some serious metaphor in that ceremonial faux pas, there has to be, I just haven't figured out how to put it into the proper words yet. But I will.

It's interesting how the ocean brings peace to some and fear to others (mainly me). I am terrified of it. But I know some people love it and get great joy from it. I like looking at it, don't get me wrong, but it scares the crap outta me.

Love the pics as're family needs to be on TV.

Mandy said...

My little guys are the "most special of them all" in their classes too :) I so understand your momma heart.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Emily is right smack dab in the middle of her classmates, if you compare them. Some are much more cognitively and physically advanced, and some are unable to even move their bodies on their own. The biggest thing to me is that of all my friends with special needs kiddos, Emily is pretty close to the most severely affected. It's hard ... :(

Anonymous said...

Heather, I was touched by your beautiful description of the complex feelings transitions school transitions bring. Every year I hug and bless my eighth graders on their way to high school. I thank God every day and every year for the lessons I learn and the positive impact inclusion is having on our school communities. Hug and thank Miss Zoe for being the teacher in her class. Hugs and thanks to you for being the best mom in the world. Sandra