Tuesday, April 3, 2012

You know things are bad when ...

 One of your older children calls you and wonders if you are ever planning on updating the blog.

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 This is aforementioned older daughter Jessica, who by the way, turns the big 2-5 on Wednesday. How ever can that be? Starts getting freaky when a child of yours turns an age you can vividly remember and the truth be told, sometimes, freakier yet, when you have to remind yourself that you are no longer yourself that age. Yikes.

Anyway, nearly two weeks since my last post. I know for certain that since I began this blog 4 years ago, that I have never gone that long between posts. Ever. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have, say 4 or 5 posts in draft saved in blogger though. I mean a few are fairly lengthy infact. But for some reason I just could not pull the trigger and hit publish. Just was not feeling it. But those that blog know, that you best start somewhere because the longer you wait, the harder it becomes to jump in and the the easier it is the let this little space just fizzle out and evaporate into cyber space. Not quite ready to let that happen  but I often wonder, when will that day come and is the hiatus the last few weeks just an indicator that change is on the horizon? And honestly, my hand has been forced when it comes to a change happening in my life and it has nothing to do with blogging and everything to do with my health and my main reason for be absent in this space for the last little bit.

Seems that a not so little thing called Lupus has decided to rear it's ugly little head and it is reeking sheer and utter havoc on this body of mine and I am not liking it. I am not liking it one little bit. Actually am kinda pissed. If you know me, I go like 1000 miles an hour in my life. 2000 maybe. Slow is not in my vocabulary. Idle is not in my DNA but what seems to be in my DNA, is some crap genetics. And that isn't actually new news either. I will spare you the boring details but it  looks as if I am going to have no choice but to heed the warnings my body is not so subtly putting out there for me.

Went to a new specialist today and well, again, I doubt you want to hear all the little nuances but his parting words to me were,"At your follow up visit we will put in place the course of treatment so we can get a handle on the progression of this disorder because it already has had an extensive reach." Just Lovely is what I have to say to that.

But you know what else? Those that know me, know that I will do what I have always done in my life and that is: Give me a plan and I am good to go. Now, I would be totally lying if I didn't say that I am a tad bit, itsy-bitsy, scared. Cuz I am. The last month has been rough physically and taken a toll on me emotionally as well. As with anything, google Systemic Lupus and well, not pretty. But hey, what can one do when faced with an adversary? Me, I will look to my trusty mantra of late and I will continue to:

Soldier On. 

As for the rest of my crew, they are doing beautifully. Especially sweet Miss Z. Who just so happens to be doing a few new things lately that have us oh so proud.  More on that, and maybe even a video, later in the week. We are on spring break for the next several days and plan on lying fairly low. Tomorrow is suppose to be in the 80's so the beach will be calling our names, and I always say that the fresh ocean air is a cure all for all that ailes you. Well, I don't actually always say that but tomorrow it might just be exactly what the doctor ordered.

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That's all for now. Best to keep it simple for now otherwise I might lose my trusty guise of grace under fire. Wouldn't want to blow my cover, would I?

22 comments:

Cammie Heflin said...

Hugs to you!!! SOOOOO wish we were heading to the beach with you guys!!! It's been down right HOT here, it's miserable!!! Soldier on my sweet friend!

stephanie said...

Didn't cry through the lengthy emails but i'm balling now! Wish we were going to the beach with you!!!

The ocean cures everything!!! it's cold here but maybe a drive down is in order...

Kristen's mom said...

You being absent for a few weeks has already blown your cover. I've been wondering about you and about the message you sent me a while back on facebook wondering about me, I was telling myself a few days ago, I think it's time to send her a message. Then I noticed you around a bit on others blogs and a tiny bit on facebook so I have held off. I shouldn't have. sorry. You, better than anyone I know can do this. But, you, also better than anyone I know could also use a break. Have a great time at the beach, the sun always warms my heart and I hope the same for you.

krlr said...

So sorry you have to deal with this. Here's to fresh ocean air.
And adorable photos of your girls.

Helena Sue said...

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis... praying for you!

The VW's said...

Always something, huh? Well, just like all the other situations you and your family has faced, I'm sure you will conquer this one as well.....with grace, love and a brave face! Thinking of you! Love and Hugs!

Anna said...

Heather, I am so sorry that its sent you for a loop. We had a little getaway for our spring break too and it was wonderful. Take care of yourself. (and sweet Zoey- well the others too. )

Rochelle said...

Totally explains your quiet, I was hoping you were training for another marathon.
Praying for you. Hoping the beach was just what you needed.
Hugs and love

Anonymous said...

Maybe we can see you at the beach Thursday????? :) Lisa and all

Justine said...

Hugs and prayers!

Reagan Leigh said...

I've been wondering about you! Please try to take care of yourself!!!

Bea Braun said...

From one screwed up immune system friend to another....please take care of yourself. So much easier said than done, I know, but really important. We're "different" and we can't max ourselves the way we used to. I try to learn the lesson in it, and I ask God to help me figure it out, but impatience seems to be my downfall. I know it's hard, but your kids need you around for a very long time, so please take it easy. Hope you enjoyed the beach...it restores the soul :)

Carolyn said...

Sorry to hear about the Lupus. I didn't know you were dealing with that. Sending you prayers from Florida for healing and energy! Enjoy the beach.

Anonymous said...

Hi Heather: Glad you came back to us in blog land :) I'm posting this on Wednesday so here it goes - HAPPY BIRHDAY JESSICA! I enjoyed hearing your sweet voice a week or so ago... Great photo of you and Matt.. 25!? How did that happen? You're still that little blond sweetheart of 1-2 traveling up to the "lake" each weekend with your parents and "baby sister" Caitlin. Wow time does fly.

Heather - hope this next dose of medical business is under control soon. Enough of that stuff!!!

And ... love the photo of Zoey girl. Hope you had fun at the beach yesterday.

lastly..... I hope you have over-the-top fun times with those lucky East Coast relatives arriving tomorrow evening. Wish I could have been a stow away!

Bluebelle

Rachel Douglas said...

Oy Vey!!! No Way!!! UG! Hug!

Marian said...

So sorry to hear this Heather and hope you get a good plan to keep the lupus in check. Sending you prayers for good health

colleen said...

Hi Heather,
So saddened by the news that Lupus has chosen to interrupt your beautiful life... I am hoping that the plan is an effective one and keeps symptoms far far away from your enjoyment of every day. Use your energy wisely... whenever you post is fine.. even though its clear that everyone misses you when you are otherwise occupied by all on your plate. I hope you have a very special Easter weekend.

Peter Olson said...

Happy Easter!
:-)

Elizabeth said...

You know I'm here, always, and I'm happy to be the squire to your soldier. Honestly.

Mary R in Turlock said...

Heather - I'm pulling for you from up here in Northern California. I'm not so far away from you face-to-face to know that God can keep track of you in spite of distance. I pray that you will feel His hand as you find your "course of action" - which in my opinion will have a lot of action no matter what!

Sewconsult said...

So sorry to hear that Lupus has hit you. Our family has been struck by many autoimmune diseases. Multiple members have lupus, fibromyalgia, arthritis, Type 1 diabetes and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Even being able to spell all those should be plenty. I hope that your doctors can keep you on a good track with plaquenil.
Beckie in Brentwood, TN

Melissa said...

I'm doing even worse than you are at staying caught up. So behind on blog writing and READING! I had no idea you were struggling with this now. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.