grace: b mercy, pardon d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
I absolutely consider grace to be a gift. And in my life, grace has been bestowed upon me more times then I could ever call to mind. Most especially over the last nearly 6 years. And most of the time, I was more then likely not worthy of it. By a long shot. But there it was, when I least expected it and least deserved it. Grace arrived requiring nothing of me, but rather restoring me for the days ahead.
The path that I have journeyed since Zoey's birth and really honestly, pre-birth, has not given me a pass on human decency. Just because life has been seemingly "unfair" and cruel by some peoples standards, even my standards in many moments, that has not been an open invitation to behave as I wish. But there I was, and continue to sometimes be, lashing out, acting out, and most definitely speaking out, in ways that were and are, just not okay. But amidst my abundant failures and vast shortcomings, grace arrives. And for that I am grateful.
Today I try and willingly acknowledge, often fail, at being more aware of the crosses that others bear. I have come to know that everyone has a struggle and a story. I am slowly and with a bit more consistency, trying not to compare those struggles and stories, and more specifically I have been trying to not compare them to my own. Are there many in this life that have it " better" then I? Easier then I? Well, sure. I suppose there are. But there are countless others that balance that unrealistic measure of trial and tribulations, that would, in a heartbeat, trade places with me. In a heartbeat.
Grace is work. Work to receive and sometimes work to be given to others. But I'll keep working. Daily. And in some cases hourly. Until one day it perhaps becomes effortless. A life in a state of grace seems like such an easier place to dwell then the heavy and hard place of bitterness and resentment, don't you think?