Sunday, November 4, 2012

Gratitude. Day 4. Grace given. Grace received ...


 grace: b  mercy, pardon d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

 I  absolutely consider grace to be a gift. And in my life, grace has been bestowed upon me more times then I could ever call to mind. Most especially over the last nearly 6 years. And most of the time, I was more then likely not worthy of it. By a long shot. But there it was, when I least expected it and least deserved it. Grace arrived requiring nothing of me, but rather restoring me for the days ahead.

The path that I have journeyed since Zoey's birth and really honestly, pre-birth, has not given me a pass on human decency. Just because life has been seemingly "unfair"  and cruel by some peoples standards, even my standards in many moments, that has not been an open invitation to behave as I wish. But there I was, and continue to sometimes be, lashing out, acting out, and most definitely speaking out, in ways that were and are, just not okay. But amidst my abundant failures and vast shortcomings, grace arrives. And for that I am grateful.

Today I try and willingly acknowledge, often fail, at being more aware of the crosses that others bear. I have come to know that everyone has a struggle and a story. I am slowly and with a bit more consistency, trying not to compare those struggles and stories, and more specifically I have been trying to not compare them to my own. Are there many in this life that have it " better" then I? Easier then I? Well, sure. I suppose there are. But there are countless others that balance that unrealistic measure of trial and tribulations, that would, in a heartbeat, trade places with me. In a heartbeat.

Grace is work. Work to receive and sometimes work to be given to others. But I'll keep working. Daily. And in some cases hourly. Until one day it perhaps becomes effortless. A life in a state of grace seems like such an easier place to dwell then the heavy and hard place of bitterness and resentment, don't you think?

7 comments:

Rochelle said...

Beautiful as always!

Stephanie said...

This is why you need to keep blogging!
Love you!!

Anna said...

^ I agree. This way of grace is beautiful, it's transforming. We are all on a journey. I am finding as you expressed, the longer I live, the more I experience, the more I learn about grace-both given and received. Thankfully Gods grace is renewed every day, you'd think id used my allotment for the day up in the first hour. But then thankfully, I am not God.

Anonymous said...

yes, definitely...lovely post Heather

Bluebelle

Lacey said...

Oh Heather, this post mirrors mine, and you were right, sometimes we do have those chips, and a lot of times I have to shut my mouth, and remember every person is different. I have a REALLY hard time with comparing, especially other special needs families, to my own. Sometimes grace finds me and I can remember, but I could never write it down as eloquently as you always do!

Bea Braun said...

Lovely. I do not think of God's grace often enough. I ask for forgiveness quite often, but I fail to recognize the amazing gift of His grace as you said to be received and to be given. You are writing some pretty inspirational stuff Heather :)

just jean said...

I love this post, so spoken from the heart. Thank you.