Saturday, November 3, 2012

Gratitude. Day 3. My faith ...

Like most I suspect, when it comes to explaining ones faith and why it is we believe, or for that matter why we may not believe, we enter very complicated and often controversial territory. That is why I seldom talk about religion here on this blog and why religion and where and how someone may or may not profess their faith, remains inconsequential, in the relationships and friendships that I have. I do not preach. I do not judge. I do not condemn. I do not question. I am Christian. But I also believe that living a life of kindness and being of selfless service to those around you, in other words, being a truly decent human being as you walk through this life, is just as important as anything else. I am certain there are many that could send me countless bible verses to prove me wrong on that, but don't bother. I have always believed that faith is a personal journey, this is my belief, and will always remain as such.

I would be lost with out my own faith. This much I know. It is a faith rooted in the belief that this, this place here on earth, is just a stopping ground. A Station. How do I know this? I don't. I just believe it. I feel it. I have felt it since I was a very young girl. I have no explanation other then that. Have I questioned the plan and the purpose? Absolutely. Have I seen death and dying and suffering that most closest to me, could never imagine? Yes, sadly, that is true as well. I have been angry and shaken in my faith and still, still for some reason, I circle back to belief. But alongside the sadness and despair, I have also seen such beauty, such grace and witnessed and experienced so many inexplicable things during my lifetime that I have no other conclusion to draw, except the same one that has helped propel me through my life thus far. There is more. This is not all there is.It can't possibly be.

I know of no other way. Believe me I have tried. During a particularly dark time with Zoey I said the most awful things about a God who just could not possibly exist. I wanted every cross on my wall taken down. I wanted every reminder of what I once believed, put away. And still, somehow, for some reason, I circled back. Not out of fear of retribution. Which to me is one of the biggest misnomers of my faith.  I am not afraid  of God. I do not live my life with a fear of not going to Heaven. I instead, just live my life.

I am flawed. Big time. I have made mistakes. Countless. I sometimes swear. Like a truck driver. For sure. And the list goes on and on. Not perfect. Far from it. Just human. Doing the best I can and on somedays, failing miserably. But my faith allows me to be who I am. Which is a constant work in progress. I don't have the answers. Far from it. But I do have my faith. And for me, that is enough.


Rochelle said...

Faith is a wonderful thing my friend. Yours is beautiful and how God is using you on this Earth is absolutely a gift. Thank you for all your love and support, your sweet words are a huge blessing to me.

Love you my friend.

Bea Braun said...

It is our faith that strengthens us in our daily walk. Gratitude for our faith is so essential. How blessed are we that we can worship without regard to persecution or shame, and we can teach and share with our children knowing that we leave a legacy that will bring them to eternal life. Thank you for sharing Heather. I am very much enjoying your daily gratitude account.

karen gerstenberger said...

A relationship with God - and faith in Him - is one of the greatest gifts. Thank you for generously sharing your thoughts about yours with us here.

Reagan Leigh said...

Thank God for our faith!!! How others do it without Him, I will never know!

Peter Olson said...

You are right on the money girl!

Please include posts on your "Hope" and "Love" too.
The Big Three: Faith, Hope & Love

I look forward to reading your posts.
I read this post several times already.
Ha! Ha! Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

The following two words are sincere and come out of my heart: Thank you. I am now able to see that God truly works with a purpose. I was very "low" on Faith, and without reason I took my phone and typed in: what to do when my Faith is little. I now know the answer. Once again, thank you. God is amazing.