Not sure where it came from. I tend to want to analyze things. Over analyze, I have been told by some. I want answers. Concrete ones and really, emotions are just not that cut and dry. I think at one point I said, " Not sure if this is 6 years of stress being released form my being or 6 months, but whatever it is, it is ugly."
At nearly 10am I have regrouped. But not without beating myself up for my behavior along the way. Guilt ridden for lashing out at those around me. Not fair to them. Do you know that my sweet, innocent, little love Zoey sat in her highchair and growled in my direction while signing 'cry'? Her way of acknowledging I was mad and sad. She looked at me and said 'Hi' over and over and as I lifted her from her seat to finish getting her ready for school, she leaned in and gave me a kiss and signed 'happy'. Talk about feeling like crap.
Popped in another of my Christmas CD's on the way to her school and this is the first song that came on. Boy, talk about perfect. Peace. I need that. I long for it. I realize that only I have control of obtaining it on most days. Beautiful piece. Performed by Casting Crowns and the song is based off of a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem that he wrote during a particularly dark period in his life. Enjoy. And if it is peace you are looking for today, perhaps this might help. If only just a little bit.