We for sure need to cling to hope, I know I will, but I am sorry to say, afraid to say, so absolutely discouraged to say, that hope just won't be enough. Something more HAS got to be done. What? I have no idea. Stricter gun control for sure. Right to bear arms? My ass. Sorry. That amendment came when our forefathers were carrying muskets for gosh sakes. Not semi-automatic weapons. And here will be a super unpopular opinion when I put this out there, but how about these video games we allow our young, and I mean young, children to play? Do you know that I am in the minority, if not standing alone, with my older sons friends, when it comes to being the parent to say no go on 'Call of Duty'? And even Joe's friends. 9 year olds are allowed to play those games. Seriously? Sorry but I am not budging. Not an inch.
This morning, for the first time in, well, I won't say ever but almost, I didn't say goodbye to the boys and kiss them. I have been sick and was dragging my feet a bit this morning. Mark takes them to school and heads to work and this morning, they left while I was upstairs blowdrying my hair. I realized 10 minutes after they left that we left without goodbyes and I felt a bit sad. And guilty. I do guilt really well. Anyway, the point is, I recognize how blessed and lucky enough I was to kiss and hug those boys this afternoon when they walked through the front door.
And also today, when I got a phone call from Zoey's school to say she had been crying for over 30 minutes and that they could not console her, how lucky was I to be able to go pick her up and take her home and give her a bath and snuggle with her and then, have her fall asleep on my chest. My sweet and innocent little kindergartener. Home and safe in my arms.
Tonight I will pray, as I have all day, for the brokenhearted and grieving. I only wish that were enough.