I swear ...

that I may some day soon write a post with some measure of substance. I swear I will. I have plenty of material, it's just the effort or energy maybe that I am lacking. The fluff stuff requires so little and since my energy is eaten up by so many other aspects of my life, I think fluff is a welcome respite for now.

So let's see what is first up on my list of useless info/goings on I can share with you:

The eldest is flitting about in Europe. Went to Germany. With a side trip to Venice. Lucky, uh? She is there visiting one of her best friends, Erin, who now lives abroad. Best time for Jess to be doing this. Her nursing boards have been taken and come March 3rd she begins her new job at Children's in the NICU. Good stuff happening for sure for my girl.

My second born is you know, hanging out waiting for her second born to arrive. Literally, anyday now. We are all super excited.

Taylor is working or rather student teaching, without pay, everyday in a kindergarten class. And loving it. She graduates in April with her teaching credential and then, she will be looking for a permanent teaching job. Which is extremely difficult. The other day she asked me, "Mom, do you think you could survive being a Barista?" Good luck, darling, was all I could muster in the moment. I did however recently ask her, "Are you sure you still want to teach?" She was surprised by the question and said,

"Of course mom!" But I got to thinking, after my second week in kindergarten, after dealing with pee-soaked pants (not my own) and paint-crusted hands, reasoning with kids to "use your words" when you're mad, seeing more children pick their nose than I have combined in my entire life, opening countless ketchup packets in the cafeteria for kids whose fine motor skills still need some work, counting to 100 100's of times, and singing the days of the week every day to the tune of Addams Family, these days have been SO incredibly rewarding and filled with joy. I wholeheartedly without a doubt still want to be a teacher. 

She is going to be an an amazing teacher, isn't she?

Lets see, the boys are just busy being boys. Doing boy things. Not a single picture to share as they both go running as soon as I start to take one. Joe is playing on his club soccer team and still taking piano and boy that child is good. Who would have thought? Joe, sitting long enough to learn, play and practice the piano. I called that one wrong. And Jake: loving middle school and please tell me, who loves middle school. I asked him to rate on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest of how much he liked it, and he came in at a 9.  Me? I was a 3. And highschool maybe a 5. When not loving middle school he is making stop motion Lego short films, writing a parody of the 'Hobbit' called the 'Stoppit' and tearing up the electric guitar with classics Led Zepplin, Foreigner, Boston, Pink Floyd and yeah, that kid of mine is talented in the creative realm and I must say, he did not get that from me. That is all his dad.

And how about Miss Zoey many of you might be asking. How is she?

I have a TON to share. So much to tell. Lots of things going on with her. Big decisions to start thinking about and a 6 year old birthday to begin to plan. 6? Now, how can that be? My littlest love. My teeny-tiny 22 pound warrior child, 6? For now let me say, She is doing well. Slow and steady she continues to go. Therapy twice a week. I go begrudgingly but I go. New therapist. We had to say goodbye to our beloved Christian but the change has been a good one. Her new therapist Amanda knows her stuff and Zoey has come to love her as well. Despite the fact amanda is not a man and we all know that Zoey adores the men in her life. Today she was on the treadmill for 3 minutes. And it was enough. Plenty. Stamina is something Zoey struggles with. Looked cute as could be though for those 3 minutes.

Mark is busy on the "Biggest Loser", doing what he does, so it can look pretty and go on air. Tiring days. Mentally and physically. And what do I know, I think he just plays in an edit bay all day and gets lunch delivered. Doesn't sound too difficult to me. So again, shows you what I know.

And me. Just gearing up for my half marathon on Sunday. Running. Everyday but definitely under trained this one by a lot. But, I will cross that finish line, with my future son in-law probably waiting on me by an hour. Or so. I told him he could finish, go back to the hotel, shower and still, I won't be back. Not far from the truth actually.

And while I have been running and going about my days, I have been soaking in the beauty of these incredible skies here in California the last few evenings. Simply gorgeous and a reminder to pause and see the magic of this world around us.

 I looked at the skies, each evening and I thought about my mom. Mark remarked to me the other night that he knows I have been distant and well, different and I think the only explanation is , I miss my mom. I am still trying to come to terms with her never coming back. Never coming back to this nightstand of hers. To us. To my dad.

So I look towards the sky and I talk to her. Its all I can do as I find my way through this season of my life.

That, and hold tight to her '' princess honey-pot", as she called Zoey. Hold tight and know, there is so much more than all this. There just has to be.