This will be my final post to this blog ...

I could make this all dramatic. Find some quote fitting to a closure or an ending, cuz you know I am the queen of quotes but you know, I just don't have it in me. I really don't. I wish I could go out with the beauty that I think this blog has exuded from the beginning but I am worn. And a bit broken. And, well, pissed. Yep, a little of that. But first and foremost, I need to protect my family. And four years ago, when I went to comment moderation, I thought I had made steps to somewhat ensure that. In the end, that wasn't enough. Truth of the matter is, the only way I could have protected them all would have been to be anonymous in the beginning. Bit late for that I'd say. So the long and short of it is this:

4 years ago, 5 years after starting this blog, after nasty and down right cruel comments were made, I was going to end the blog then. I instead bought into the theory that if I did that then "they  would win." That I, more importantly  Zoey, had so much more to share with the world. And it was true. This girl of mine and her remarkable story has been a gift to not only us, her family, but countless strangers, who found us through a google search or blog link or whatever other avenue via social media and such. I cannot even begin to tell you of the incredible people, families, children, that we have met virtually or in person, because of this blog. I cannot tell you the the number of emails that found their way to me, to ask me questions, advice or just simply thank me, for sharing Zoey's story. The communities that we have joined, reach far beyond the Down syndrome community. Far beyond. Knowledge I had garnered through all of Zoey's obstacles, allowed me to help other families. And that, in many moments, gave me a measure of peace and perhaps purpose of why we all, or rather she, had to journey the road we all were traveling. There has been so much beauty along the way. Sadness yes. But so much beauty and as I end this blog, that is what I will hold tight to.

The bottom line is that we have continued to receive many nasty and cruel comments. And we believe from the same source. The continuity of the writing. The phrasing. The style. The personal use of our names etc. Everything points to the same individual. And what we also know, with a high level of certainty, it is someone who knows us. Their comments have contained information that only a person who knows us, would be able to write. I knew that 4 years ago and after this last comment, I know this today. And the person who has written them, knows all too well that I have comment moderation. Which means, nothing gets published without coming through me first. And they want me to see it. Their intent is to be cruel and hit me where it hurts and they have done just that. Have they won? Nope. Not necessarily. But I am done. I truly am.

The thing is, I am mostly on Facebook and Instagram anyway these days. And I only have friends and followers that I know there. Or at least I think I know them. That's the thing. Do we really ever know somebody? I mean really, deep down, to their core, know someone? I would like to think so but the truth is, we really don't. I am hoping and praying that it is a fringe type person but truth be told, some information written, has made me question that. And that is sad. I know people like to say that there is more good in this world then bad but I have to say, sometimes I wonder.

Am I personally sad? I am. A little. I have loved this sacred place of mine. This place has been a source of comfort during some of the darkest of times. We have been rallied by the outpouring of love, support and prayers for many years now. And some of the friendships I have forged will last for years to come. The people that have come to mean the most to me, and I to them, the ending of this blog, will have no impact on that if the friendships were rooted in authenticity to begin with. It forces myself and others to work a little harder for the relationships that meant something, to enable them to continue to foster and grow.

I guess that's all. Weird to say that so casually and oddly, with calm. But I feel peace about it. I am still meant to share Zoey's story. Our story. This much I know. However now I am called to figure out just how to do that without this blog. My girl has been our trusty guide in this life for over 6 years now and I know that she will continue to show me the way. She always has. Now will be no different.

Peace to you and yours. My deepest thanks and gratitude to those who come by here often or just from time to time. I have appreciated the love and light you have showered on us, more than you could ever, ever know. Those are not just cliche words. I speak them from my heart.

One last thing and it may be a shameless plug to some but really, in the end, its not for me. It's for Zoey and all her warrior friends actually. All of the friends we lost along the way. Funerals of too many children I came to love and should be here today. Goodbye came too soon for their families that loved them. You see, this blog was going to be an avenue to continue my fundraising for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and my marathon in the fall. A marathon that has raised millions upon millions of dollars to further research, fund clinical trials and support families deep in the trenches of fighting these blood cancers. In the past I have humbly come before the readership here to help me reach my goal and every single time, you all have not failed me. Or rather to have not failed the people, adults and children alike, fighting to get to cure. People like my Zoey Grace that is now 4 years in remission. I need your help. THEY need your help. As a last hooray, lets see if we can honor Zoey and reach my goal. How great would that be. Good would indeed win over the bad. I think it is possible. In fact, one of the very first quotes I used and one that was our mantra in the early Infantile Spasms days and was on a plaque on Zoey's bed during the leukemia days and it was " Everything is possible ... the impossible just takes a little longer." Let's not let it take necessarily longer. Lets reach that goal now. Please go to my fundraising page, which needs some serious updating or scroll to the top and follow the links there and donate today.

I guess I can't possibly end without a quote. One of my favorites. One found on my sidebar. Read it and remember it and live it. I will try and do the same.

"Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we know: That we are here for the sake of others ... for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received." ~Albert Einstein