So here is the deal ...

I tried.  I really tried to make my other space, my new space, work.   It just didn't feel comfortable.  And although I am a big fan of stepping outside ones comfort zone, in this case, if I am going to continue to write and share, I need to go back to what I know.  After 5 years of being here, this feels like home.  More authentic.  More me.  This is what I know best.


I have come back here a few times over the last 6 months and found a dozen or so comments left for me on previous posts.  Some random and not particularly noteworthy but most were from people who had googled a word, a phrase, a diagnosis, or a quote and found themselves here.  And their comments and have been amazing.  In some cases I have been able to reach out and help in some way or another.  I have to tell you that that has been the greatest gift of this blog.  The connections.  The feeling of making a difference.  I have missed here, as much as anything else.

So I am going to make a go of it again.  I know the layout of blogger and its format like the back of my hand.  Posting, although never a quick process for me, feels far more effortless here.  Not laborious.  As for the the people who found their way here before and tainted it with their vitriol words, I will continue to moderate and that will be that. I will not dignify any of it with any type of response or action.

I want to share this comment that came in a few weeks ago that I found this morning.  I thought it was absolutely beautiful.  

"Hi Heather. Thank you for something you had no idea you did. Nelson Henderson was my Grandfather. We grew up in Northern Manitoba. He passed away when I was 12, but I still remember him using that phrase Under Whose Shade to remind us that life was not always about "us" Today, I learned that my father (his son) has serious cancer and for consoling and some insight, I thought to google my grandfathers phrase and see what came up. I had NO idea his guide for life became viral. Especially since his passed away over 35 years ago. His life was very much about kids and family. They raised 8 of their own plus a few local orphaned kids as well. Reading a few of your posts, I suspect you share similar traits about life. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of my family. Jason Henderson." 

The quote he is referring to, in it's entirety, reads as this:" The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit."

And this comment reminded me also of one of my top 5 quotes ever.   Today, for whatever reason,  I felt the need to revisit it as well.

" Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we know: That we are here for the sake of others ... for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received." ~Albert Einstein

So here I am for the time being.  I think.  Fickle thing, aren't I?