Friday, May 9, 2008

Is the day over yet?

The day went from bad to worse. Zoey went on to have another doozy of a seizure. I once again am back to not wanting to leave her side for fear I will not be right there if something happens.It is how I spent the majority of the last 4 months, up until she stopped having spasms 4 weeks ago. Only then did I start to leave her in her swing or bed or bumbo when I needed to get the stuff that's got to get done , done. Anyway, she was very unsettled most of the day . Held her pretty much all day long but finally she seemed content in the swing. It did not last long. I no sooner set her in and turned my back when Caitlin said " Mom, she's seizing!" Okay, not to be over dramatic but I do not think I will EVER get use to these types of seizures. They don't last long but man are they ugly. Poor sweet baby. She cried and cried. In fact she cried for 2 hrs. straight. The stress level in the house reached monumental proportions! Mark brought home dinner at around 8 or so , which was nice. Late dinner. Late bedtimes. Just winding down at ..... 11pm. Zoey is finally sleeping and I should take advantage and head there myself. Hard to tell when she will be up again. So off to bed I go with a very heavy heart. Weighed down with questions that I know I may never receive answers for. Fearful of the future. Unsure of my ability to once again carry on like this is just normal, everyday stuff. Tomorrow I am certain I will rally again, as usual, but for this moment I am just sad. Plain and simply just sad. Pray for us. Pray for Zoey. Send all you have her way. Our way. We could sure use them. She could use them. Keep them coming. It is about all I can cling to at the moment and it is a very weak grasp at that.


Reagan Leigh said...

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel though. Reagan is having these same seizures all the time now. It never gets easier...the eyes rolling back and the look of confusion afterwards...I hate these seizures! I am definitely praying for her and that the topomax will stop these ugly things! Take care and know that you are also in my prayers!

Christy said...


Please know that you are constantly in my prayers. I am so sorry that Zoey has to go through this. I pray that each day God
holds your hand and doesn't let go. I am in tears as I read your posts and think you are an amazing mother! God has given you so much strength! I will continue to pray for Zoey and your entire family.