Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Now THIS was the news we were hoping for ....
No leukemia.As simple as that and as complicated as that.Nothing about cancer is simple actually.Diagnosis,treatment and life after.That is if you are so lucky to be on the other side of treatment.And mark my words,we know how very lucky we are to be on this side.Reminder came this morning as my very dear friend,against my instructions,showed up at Children's to lend her support.My friend Laura is mommy to Angel Luke.Laura and John know all too well the roller coaster ride of pediatric cancer.Their little guy battled so courageously for almost 6 months.Their other side of treatment is far different then ours and as long as I can carry on with gratitude for where Zoey is right now,in this moment, then I will have learned as I should have, from the gift of Luke's and others like him and their journey.My friend Michelle,who has been my rock since day one of Zoey's birth, also insisted on coming along and the company of the two of them made all the difference in my mindset and ability to focus on the task at hand.I love them both for getting up at ungodly hours to be there beside both Mark and I.The ultimate in selflessness.Up at 4am.Out the door at 5am.Check in 6am and procedure at 7:30am.It was one of our most easy flowing admissions to date.No fuss.No hold up.Just bing,bang,boom and before I knew it I was being ushered back into recovery to be with Zoey.I found her as I had left her.Smiley,waving and in great spirits.Then the wait began.Dr.Gaynon said results would be back soon after she was out of recovery and true to his word,they were.No leukemia.Wow.We were speechless and elated and so very grateful.Now the question remains,"What is causing her platelets to either not produce properly or what is causing those platelets to be consumed?"He suspects some organ damage due to the chemo.Specifically her liver and spleen.He was also slightly concerned Monday as her hemoglobin was 15.2.That is high and can be indicative of heart disease.So it looks like we will be checking out the little loves organs over the next few weeks or so.But the huge news of the day is Zoey remains,in this amazing moment,leukemia free.Can you hear me taking a deep cleansing breath all the way over here?These were a tough couple of days.Our minds went to all different kinds of places but we stuck together as a family.Remained strong and positive and prayed like crazy.And then there were all of you.Again a tremendous outpouring of love and support through comments and phone call and emails.Once again sustaining us and humbling us as we continue to journey forward with Miss Zoey.This child of ours keeps us on our toes.A sentiment reiterated by her oncologist today.I wish I thought that this would be the last number scare that we would be facing.I know in fact it will probably not be.The question remains:How will we deal with the curve balls that are sure to come with this territory?Gracefully and with dignity like Zoey I would hope but when I am in the the thick of the uncertainty that ability becomes far too difficult to wade through.Recently I followed a comment to this darling little guy.His mom had this quote at the top ... I just loved it.
"LIFE IS NOT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS.. IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN."
It seems as though we have all passed through many storms over the last 2 1/2 years.Sometimes I have danced and other times I have barely kept my head above the raging waters. But all the while our guide through those storms has always remained constant and consistent.That guide has been a tiny child who's indomitable will to survive whispers and often shouts, DO NOT GIVE UP.The other beacon that has shone brightly has been or faith.Yes,there have been moments of doubt and brokenness but that faith is and continues to be the core of our existence.For each of these moments that we face, we pass through the human emotions of fear and anger and always circle back to the undeniable belief that the storm will pass.Maybe not always in the way we would want it to but it will pass and we will find our way to another day.My inadequate words of thanks comes to all of you.As I said in an email last night to a long time reader,I so wish Zoey could wrap her little arms around you all and give you one of her patent hugs.I thank you all for her and on behalf of our entire family.Our hearts overflow with humility and gratitude.I leave you with the picture of the little warrior,all tuckered out from her very long day.More tomorrow:Tomorrow just happens to be an anniversary of another incredible milestone of Miss Zoey Grace.