Sunday, February 14, 2010

And, He sent me a message and this is what He said ...


So today I decided to be a bit of a rebel.I decided we were not going to divide and conquer for church today but instead go together.All of us.Including Zoey.We are still about a month out from ideally reentering large crowds.Zoey's doctors want to make sure we have cleared the flu season nicely before we risk her being sneezed on,coughed on and her tiny hands being stroked on by other not so tiny and probably not so clean hands.But this morning I wanted to be together.Not sure exactly why.Maybe it was because it was Valentine's Day and we are all sporting our Pablove shirts and church seemed to be the best place to honor our warrior friend Pablo.Maybe it was because tomorrow we head to clinic for lab work and I have spent the last two mornings with serious anxiety/panic attacks and today I needed to be with my daughter in a place that has always brought me peace.I needed to listen for His silent and reassuring voice.Whatever the reason,off to church we went ...

And it felt really nice.I was able to see so many familiar faces and with the simple exchange of glances,no words were necessary, I knew what they were thinking.....they were so thrilled to see us there with Zoey.And Zoey loved being there.She especially loved the music.We wandered over to the choir area numerous times as she incessantly signed music ... over and over and over again.She loved the piano and the drums and was rather ticked off when they would stop playing.In the middle of Mass there was a baptism and I just love when there are baptisms.I cry everytime.Today it was the daughter of an amazing family here in town.They have two biological children and three adopted children.Beautiful,beautiful children,all of them.Being there today to watch this baptism was extra special, as their family and their extended families have been an often unknowing source of strength,support and unending prayers to us and especially Zoey,over the last few years.

Midway through Mass,Zoey and I found our way to the baptismal fonts.We actually have a traditional small font for babies as well as a large immersion/walk in font and as their daughter is older,she was walking in.Zoey and I had an awesome view.Zoey kept signing water and watching intently and when it was over I paused a moment to speak to another family friend.As we stood there Zoey was signing away and each time I would repeat to my friend what Zoey was saying.All of the sudden Zoey signs "potty" to which I say,that is her sign for "potty" and not sure why she is doing it at that moment.I go on to tell her that I just routinely sign "potty" when she is needing a diaper change and from there she picked up "potty".I went on to say that I am not sure whether or not Zoey will ever grasp the concept of "potty" but no matter,I will just continue signing it,speaking it,along with a whole host of other things that might be abstract for her but I do them nonetheless, under the presumption and with the confidence and belief that she does indeed understand or at the very least will eventually understand ... or do I,??Because you see,not 2 minutes after I utter my doubt in her ability to ever be potty trained ,I head back to my seat and I realize that the front of my shirt and Zoey's pants are soaking wet ... she just wet entirely through her clothes,diaper and onto me.So in my head I am saying... no way.Just a coincidence.Just a coincidence that she signs "potty" for no reason at all and within a minute or two she and I are wet.Instead of freaking out that not only is the front of my shirt completely wet and that I also had no change of clothes for her,I am grinning ear to ear.I am thinking,today God decided to send me a message and this is what he said ..."Do not doubt this child of yours.Do not doubt this child of Mine.Do not,for the sake of self preservation and protection, doubt anything she is capable of today or in future tomorrows.Do not low ball and under estimate this miracle girl.Live what you speak and know that she will show you the way."

Today we went to church.Together.And today the message I received was far bigger then any gospel I could have heard or any words that could have been spoken.Today I learned it is all good to hope but alongside that hope better be authentic belief in what you are hoping for.Unwavering knowledge in infinite possibilities. Belief that all things are possible and that there is no place for doubt where true hope dwells.Who would have ever thought that lesson would have come to me today in the most unlikeliest of places, and from the most unlikeliest source ... one very,very soaking wet diaper.

*This picture has nothing to do with the post but I so love it and had to share it.This picture tells the story of Zoey and Matt's,relationship.Their faces alone, tell the story.Zoey's face lights up whenever Matt enters the room and Matt,well,I do indeed think he feels exactly the same about Zoey.For anyone who doesn't know,Matt is Jessica's boyfriend of almost four years.

30 comments:

Victoria Strong said...

Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Who knew a peepee T could be so darn wonderful? But it is! Happy Valentine's Day my sweet...so glad you gave your Mama such a wonderful day!

Tina said...

Wow..wow as I was reading I could feel it building up, pure excitment, a thrill like no other and oh god so so thankful for everything that's possible. I know we have no place for doubt in our minds, and it's thanks to blogs like yours and so many others that I have come to understand that our children are truely little pieces of a miracle, and that we must never stop believing in them.
I love that picture on top, doesn't need any words...

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Zoey! She is so smart and will continue to amaze you. And Jessica needs to keep Matt - he will make an incredible father one day!

Christina Egner said...

Amazingly wonderful day!

My husband and I switch weekends going to church with our oldest daughter. Emily can't handle crowds {not because of the flu season} but just in general.

The VW's said...

Zoey, you are one AMAZING little girl! Great job showing your Momma and the world what an awesome lady you are and that the stars are the limit for you!

I can't believe this Heather! What a wonderful day for you! You are so very blessed!

Praying that today goes well for you and Zoey! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

stephanie said...

I'm crying in my coffee because your daughter pee-peed on you in church, and I am so stinkin' proud of her!

You both are two of the most determined people in the world, you make a great pair!

Dana Janowicz said...

Of course the morning we don't go to 9 o'clock mass, we miss seeing your precious family all together. Shucks:). Glad you had such a wonderful moment, those are my favorite, especially when they are in church.

just jean said...

I really needed to read this post! Not having been to church this weekend (suffering from a horrendous 7 day and counting head cold), I can get my connection to Him through your words this week! And, Heather, you are the best example of how powerful small and consistent acts are. Keep the bar high because Zoey's capabilities are just beginning to emerge!

Love the picture, the boy, and the child!

Chris, Molly, and Baby said...

GOD is good! I just posted on my blog about what I call "God moments." When God in no uncertain terms tells you his message in what I think is a very obvious way!! AND I love when people share their "God moments!" I'm praying that you continue to have peace today as you head into tomorrow and Zoey's appointment.
Oh and I LOVE your tattoo. I've been toying with the idea of one since I did my TNT marathon. I LOVE the ambigram (is that right?) and I'm trying to think of one for me!
May God continue to send you "God moments" and hold you and your beautiful family in his loving arms.
Molly

Anonymous said...

Truly a very special posting Heather. You were led there by the man/spirit above, we only have to take the time to really listen. Wonderful posting
and to think the sign "potty" is so meaningful(along with a wet diaper and mommy's shirt)! Awesome Zoey, just aweome!
My usual saying of "you go girl" has a double meaning now! love it!

Great photo of Matt & Miss Z

Bluebelle

PS Went into Pablo site - those shirts are great, sometime when everyone one is wearing them please have someone take a photo and post it.

Googsmom said...

{{{{{{{HUGS ZOEY}}}}}}

Time to break out the potty chair Heather :)

Cheri said...

Just beautiful...all of it, church together, the signing, and the special message! I remember you writing once about worrying how Zoey will ever sign because of the affects of her stroke on her little arm... but just look at her. She is a fighter, a conqueror, and just the most amazing "almost 3 year old" we know!

Heather Chell said...

Heather - it was such a great pleasure meeting your beautiful family yesterday at church. What a wonderful day all the way around. I have to admit when I saw you across the alter I was a little "star struck." My son Evan saw Zoey first and told me "mom I think that Zoey is here." Sure enough - there you all were. I am glad you chose that day to come with Zoey, as she has been in our daily prayers since Christy first introduced your family to us (via this blog) over a year ago. Our prayers continue for you today and always and I hope that our paths cross again! I pray for strength and courage for you and your family today and always!
Heather Chell (Kalbert, Evan and Reese too!)

Heather Chell said...

One more comment - I was thrilled to see Zoey sign the word "cry" when Evan was fussy and needed a walk outside! She was so very in tune and communicating! That is a true testiment to the miracle she is and the possibilities she holds. And to hear that she continued this communication with the potty sign is truly exciting! Congratulations on the wonderful progress she continues to make! She is a miracle in every sense of the word!!!

Angi said...

Ha! I knew before I finished the first sentence with the word "potty" in it what was about to happen!!! Silly you, OF COURSE, she has learned that one and even made the right connection!!! So proud of her...sorry about the wet shirt:)

jturpin said...

I love it! Thanks for sharing that. My anxiety, my fear is outgrowing my hope lately. I just don't want to go back to where we were. Bella is doing so well right now - and instead of rejoicing in it, I'm holding my breathe waiting for the next shoe to fall.
Thank you for sharing your message.
-Shelly

Kristen's mom said...

It's true faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. I know too well the fears, doubt and anxiety that come along with the oncology clinic. It's one of those places that I hate and love at the same time. I am having a hard time with the hope, fear and faith thing as we end the week with the start of the transplant. If I think about it too much I am seriously going to get sick. It doesn't seem fair as Kristen is feeling wonderful. She is in remission and gaining strength every day. Now we are going to knock her to her all time low. We are all waiting for an update on your day. I think cute little Zoey is ready for a little potty of her own.

Just Another Ordinary Miracle said...

Beautiful picture. I would love to be there to sign with Zoey.. I am so glad that you went out together. To the perfect place.

We are still in the hospital. EEG is up and running again. Two seizure meds lowered. Pray for a seizure. Didn't get the news I wanted from last weeks EEG. Nothing bad, just not what I wanted.
G.

Lacey said...

My computer is being naughty. It doesn't let me leave comments on your blog, urgh!
Ray is so jealous of that picture of Matt and Zoey! Just a couple of weeks! I'm pulling out the boys shirts and getting Jax travel oxygen all ready to go!

Anna said...

Heather,
I am just sobbing. thank you. I needed to hear what he was telling you. I keep putting that wall up. Hoping, but not wanting to get my hopes up. Wanting so badly. But also remembering that I just want his will. ;)Back and forth. God is so faithful. He just snuck up on me.... again.
Say adoption prayers. I cant share details publicly but hoping something good is right around the corner for us and our sweet little G.

Anonymous said...

NOTHING escapes Miss Zoey Grace Needham! Potty - Doesn't surprise me at all - ha! Love you all, Christi Harman

Mama Mason-Mann said...

Thank you, as always, for sharing with your eloquence, the magic in your life. The story and the picture are just amazing.

Kele said...

That was a pretty awesome wink from God!! I would happily be peed on for that!!

connie said...

Beautiful. I especially NEEDED to read this today. Your daughter teaches me a lot. And I loved the picture of them together.

Anonymous said...

I thought Matt was Zoey's boyfriend!! She made that known when Michelle and I came to visit. This was a wonderful post. Zoey you are amazing! We miss you all!
Lisa and Michelle

tish said...

LOVED your post. Yes, I believe my Zoey's signs were directly driven from Above! :)

Bri said...

This story is amazing! I love the picture and your reflection. As I was reading I didn't think the event could get any better until she couldn't hold it anymore.
You are so blessed Heather! Thank you for encouraging me.
love love love Bri

mandd3 said...

I cry during every baptism too. Our new parish (after our move) doesn't fo them during Mass. I so miss them. I absolutely love when God knocks you on the head to make sure you understand.

rae said...

:) love this post... big hugs to you both.

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.