I am in a mood. As noted by the 3 adults in the room with me at this moment. And I admit it. I am. The reasons? Of no consequence really. All over the emotional map right now and the mood stems from too many complicated areas of my life. And who wants to hear about all that? No one. I am certain of that much. Let's put it this way: If it wasn't 42 degrees out and almost 11, I would be strapping on those shoes of mine and going for a second run of the day. My escape and my therapy, both found when I get into my zone and run. SO, SO very tempting. And, speaking of running ...
The above image, a card, given to me by Caitlin when I did my run in San Francisco last month. She snuck it up with Jess and, I have to tell you, I cried when I read it. Well, I laughed at the front, which is so telling of my personality and cried at what she wrote inside. You have to know this much about the words she wrote. When I have yearned, for the better part of all my life, for someone to be proud of me and I hear that and more, from my own child, well, that will bring you to tears if anything ever will.
I brought that card home and placed it where I can see it daily. It reminds me of an attitude that has served me well over my lifetime. But like most things for me, I have had to find a balance between the empowerment of the phrase and the alienation that can occur when my emotions get the most of me. So lately I have chosen for those words to strictly inspire me when I run.
These are my shoes and ... I love them.
Running is a major endorphine release for me. When I run I feel in control and free and, for one of the very few times in my life, I feel beautiful. Yep, sweaty, no makeup, baseball hat, oddly beautiful. So in those first 2 miles of a longer run, when I wonder what the heck I am doing out there, I know, I just need to push past that initial desire to stop, because I know what comes next,.And what comes next, is that indescribable rush that only those who run know. I am reading an incredible book right now, "Born to Run". It is not mainly a" how to" book on running , it has, oddly enough, given me a glimpse on how to, in some ways, live my life. Ways far beyond running. I'll share more on that another time.
And running I will be, perhaps in the rain, come this weekend, with Team GSF in the Santa Barbara International Marathon. I am running with 29 other amazing runners. All banded together to help put an end to SMA. The Gwendolyn Strong Foundation has just unveiled the new look of their site. Fresh and so incredibly classy but what isn't new, is their mission. A selfless quest to end the cruel disease that is SMA. All over that site you will see their ongoing mantra, Never Give Up. So with that in mind and my Kick Ass, Take Names mantra, I am all set.
Also, remember, you still have a few days left to donate to Team GSF. If you haven't had an opportunity click over to my fundraising page and make your tax deductible donation today.
However, I must also warn, if I can't snap out of this funk, those closest to me best step aside. I will revert to my old kick ass, taking names, ways. Indiscriminately.