I woke before sunrise this morning and headed out for my run. The first thing I noticed, was that at 6 am, the moon was shining brighter and fuller than you could ever imagine. It was just beautiful. And as I headed down a hill, I looked to the moon and saw the sunrise coming up over the horizon and I said a litany of prayers, asking for strength for the day ahead.
A day that I am able to push aside and not think about, for 4 months at a time. And I really do a good job of living life and forgetting about the necessary evils, of living life with a complicated child. Most of the time. Or at least I think I do. I try and soak up the here and now and seldom get caught up in the what if's of our tomorrows. But as we inch closer to Zoey's oncology check ups, each and every time, I get well, I get a little wiggie. Short. Snappy. Edgy. Sighing deeply. Repeatedly. So much so that Zoey will mimic me by touching her chest and breathing deeply herself.
So that is how it goes and it remains as such, until I have her lab report in my sweaty little hands. And, if we are so blessed and lucky, or rather, if she is so blessed and lucky, if those numbers are normal, I can breath. At a normal rate. And today, my wonder girl is blessed and lucky and I am breathing at a normal rate. Zoey remains in remission. As we circled those oncology clinic halls, for hours, waiting for our doctor who was running way way behind, I looked around at all the precious warrior, cancer fighting faces, and I knew, after reading those results, that Zoey is, without a shadow of a doubt, blessed and lucky.
Except briefly, during her blood draw, Zoey was joyful and happy and literally waved to every, single person she passed. Darling girl of mine with a few of her friends. Bestie to her left of course.
As for my friends. Oh. My. Gosh. Facebook messages in insane numbers. Phones calls and emails and texts. Most of which, I have yet to acknowledge and thank everyone properly. But please know, if you were one of those people, and you are reading this, I felt the love and the strength and the prayers. They enveloped me and carried me through the day. And as I head to bed shortly, I will know, that at yet another moment in my life, I got by with a little help from my friends.