Lately when the ebb and flow of life is threatening to pull me under. When I am trying to make my way through the trenches and the daily battles besieging me from all fronts. When the pressures, some admittedly self imposed, seem daunting and heavy. When I am questioning my direction in this life as a wife and as a mother and the levels of complexity within those roles, seem totally overwhelming. And least we forget, my place in this life as an individual, a woman, who was just me, before I became those other things. I am not the surrendering kind of girl so I will just keep moving. Facing forward. Praying my way through the difficult days and knowing, sometimes, all I can do is: soldier on.
And while I am doing that, I will be ever mindful of my many blessings in this life.
For instance, the gift of reconciliation. 3 years in the making.
"Forgiving is not forgetting; its actually remembering--remembering and not using your right to hit back. Its a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don't want to repeat what happened.” ~Desmond Tutu
Or party preparations for a soon to be 5 year old miracle girl. This darling little dress being the inspiration behind the party theme. Oh la la !!
And of course, there is my health. I never lose sight of that. Despite 3 inhalers a day, that are costing us a jaw dropping 400 dollars a month, I run. Like a crazy woman sometimes. And sometimes I even run as late as 10 o'clock at night. Sometimes, I wonder whether I am running away or towards something. But mostly, I just run. Running is my cheap therapy. And on some days, my salvation.
So, in between the delicate balance of sanity and completely losing my mind, I will be ever mindful of the beauty intertwined amongst the chaos of my life and I will continue to soldier on. Don't know any other way to do it.